CHAPTER 20 - Pilgrimage

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Owen was right. Once the ball started rolling, the process was quick and easy. The paperwork was ready in two weeks. Lora's lawyer talked with Jonathan's lawyer and since Lora was asking for, well, nothing, it didn't take long to draft a contract that was agreeable to both.

All that was left was for Jona to sign the papers in Lora's shaking hands. Then, it would be official. Then, they would start telling people and it would be real. She went through the plan in her head like a checklist. If one planned right, one worked right. That was what Lora used to tell herself on the job when complications arose and her tasks seemed unmanageable.

First, she would tell Jess and Krista. She would treat them like the adults they were and tell them everything, own up to every mistake. The last thing she wanted was for them to blame their father unnecessarily, which she knew was the natural course of events. Jess already knew the gist of it, so she was probably already expecting this. Krista, on the other hand, seemed oblivious to the tension between Lora and her father, even though she visited every day. Lora wasn't surprised. Young love did that to young girls. It painted the world in rosy hues, even the darkest corners.

And Krista was in love. Hopelessly so, in fact. Lora could see it in her gleaming eyes, in the way she held Karl's hand as she told her, in her shy, squeaky voice that they were dating, 'kind of.' It was in the way she flushed when Karl squeezed her hand, so small in his, as she said the words, 'kind of.' 

Lora wasn't happy about it. She may not have been her actual mother, but she was still very protective of her youngest, brightest, most innocent niece. But really, what could she say? Karl wasn't a bad sort and he genuinely seemed to care about Krista. He stood beside her as she broke the news to her and Jonathan, and that said a lot about him.

Deep down, Lora wished she too could have Owen by her side, holding her hand. But that would send out the wrong message. That would make them think that she was leaving their dad for another man, which was not true. She was quitting her marriage because it wasn't a marriage anymore, not in the true sense of the word. She knew that. She knew that. 

So, why were the papers so heavy in her hands as she waited outside Jonathan's door?

"Okay, breathe," Lora told herself as she moved on to point number two.

After the girls, they would tell Aiden and Siena. They would tell them together, her and Jonathan. Lora took another deep breath as she hoped and prayed Jonathan would pull it together enough for this. They had to put up a united front so the children would understand that even though their parents are separated, they were still equally loved by both of them. She didn't want this to be a tug of war. Siena was her daddy's little princess and Aiden was only just starting not to shake with fear when he went into his father's room. They were having conversations, even if said conversations were only three or four sentences long. She could see the effect this slight improvement had on her son's confidence and God forbid she would be the one to destroy it.

Next, she would tell her brother. He was the least of her worries. He was never in favour of her marriage anyway. Heck! Between that and the baby on the way, all would be right with his world.

And then finally, it would be time to tell her mother, her good, Catholic, no-wrongdoing mother, that her youngest, the girl she depended mostly upon, the daughter who restored her world after it was turned upside down, the one who stayed up with her as she mourned the sudden death of her own husband, would be abandoning her sacred marital bonds.

The papers quivered in Lora's hands again. 

After that, it would be easy. Find a job, get an apartment and go back to Church. And all would be right again.

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