A Grim Fairy Tale

Chapter Fifty-Five

"What does that mean?"

"During his early childhood, Anthony was schooled by his father's squire. Isaiah, he was called. A decent man. He was of Morrish descent so of course, most people looked down on him but he was intelligent, a gifted scholar, strong, and very honorable and kind. He had his own views on women, but he viewed them as the more precious gender. Whereas men like Vincent saw childbirth as a obligation, he viewed it as a great risk and at times a sacrifice for women, and insisted that because of that, all women must be spared from the world's burdens and pain. That they already have enough to suffer with. I don't exactly share the beliefs but at least I can respect them."

"So that's where Anthony gets the idea that women are more naive."

"Exactly. He doesn't think women are weak, he just thinks they end up being more sheltered because Isaiah, his main male influence, was a firm believer that women should be protected no matter what. Probably because the man adored his wife. According to those who knew him that is."

"You never met him?"

"No. He died long before I ever came around. Him, his wife, and their little boy, all perished in a fire when Anthony was about eight. He was heartbroken. Isaiah was the first person apart from his mother who ever gave a damn about him."

"That is sad. How did everyone else take it?"

"From what I've heard, most of Poland was just as mournful as he was, but Vincent never liked him. He was always treating him like he was some illiterate savage."

"Then why make him his son's tutor?"

"That wasn't him, that was Anthony's mother who made that choice. She always wanted Anthony to have the best education available, Isaiah was one of the best scholars in the king and a trusted friend. He was a very good tutor, but after Isaiah and his family died, Anthony's education just went down the drain. He was kept inside all the time, only allowed to study things his father allowed him to study which was in my opinion, useless information and never let him think for himself. Because of him, Anthony doesn't know how to survive on his own. When that wolf attacked, he froze because he was scared and he didn't know what to do."

"Well if that's true, then why did he lie about knowing how to hunt and kill beasts?"

"Because he's embarrassed. He knows it's pathetic that a prince doesn't know how to fight or survive on his own and he's ashamed of it. He gets made fun of for it all the time, even his own father taunts him about it and he made him this way."

Vagatha's anger started gradually fade and she allowed room for compassion. She always knew that King Vincent was a dreadful man, but to do something like this to his own son? That's beyond despicable. No wonder Anthony was the way he was.

"How does he feel about his father?"

"I think he knows that his father doesn't care but at the same time he holds up to a little Ray of hope that he might. He's not sure what the man's true feelings are and he's not sure if he wants to know."

"I know how that feels." Vagatha thought, recalling the many times during her childhood where she doubted if her own mother actually loved her. Naturally, she was quick the silence doubt as quickly as they first entered her mind. Yet they never stopped coming.

"But mothers and fathers are different." Vagatha told herself. "A mother can't just not love her child. Her child grows inside of her, she carries her child in her womb for nine months and she gives her child life. There's a biological bond. It's impossible for a mother to go through all that without any love for her child."

In a perfect world, Vagatha would be absolutely right. In a perfect world, no father or mother could create a beautiful child and not love that child more than life itself. But there was no perfect world, at least not where Vagatha was and as horrible and heartbreaking as it is for me to admit, there are fathers and even mothers who are completely indifferent to their children. Even hateful.

It's a cruel and painful fact of life. A fact that one would be unwise to ignore. However, before you judge those who make that questionable choice, remember this, what child wants to acknowledge that their own mother didn't want them? What child wants to accept that their own father only had them to use them? Even when the evidence couldn't be more clear.

And why? Because a person's very first desire is to be loved. From the very moment a baby enters this world from the womb of its mother, the only want it has is to be held. To make contact with someone. To sense that there is someone there who cares for them. And nine out of ten times, that want stays with them til the day they die. In some cases, that want is so powerful that they'll take affection from any person whether it's sincere or not. Especially if that person is a parent because parents are supposed to be the first people to love you. It's almost like basic instinct. The child instinctively wants love from both parents right away and parents are supposed to instinctively want to give that child all the love in their hearts.

Unfortunately, in Vagatha and Anthony's case, only one of their parents had that instinct. Only one of their parents wanted to hold them the moment they entered the world. Only one of their parents loved them so much, that they would be willing to give up anything and everything for their children. Even their very lives. Where as the other parents, had no room in their hearts for that kind of love. And such a dynamic can be torturous to the child's psyche.

Because, after all, if one parent could love the child then how come the other one can't?