Trauma vs Love

Chapter 1

SO SOME TRIGGER WARNINGS

-Alcohol consumption       -Drugs         -Talk of sexual assault      -Self harm     -Sex 

I DO NOT OWN THE IMAGES USED I GOT THEM FROM PINTEREST!

Copyright2023 @Cupcakequeen547  (Thatonesecretgal)

Upon entering my new apartment, I confidently strode in as the door made a slight creaking noise and slowly closed behind me. The place looked simple yet comfortable, which was exactly what I was looking for. The walls were cream-white almost like an empty sheet of paper. Certain questions started to wander inside my mind. What are the neighbours like? Hopefully, they are kind. Opening up my suitcases at a fast pace, a knocking at the door stopped me from continuing. Maybe it's next door wanting to welcome me into the apartment. I opened the door without hesitation only to be presented with a man standing still as a statue. His clothes look tainted by possible smoke. He was wearing a jet-black hoodie that made him smell like cigarettes. Or maybe his natural scent is smoky but this man definitely smokes. His hood covered the top half of his face meaning I could only see from nose down. Perfectly shaped bone structure in his jaw which suited his facial hair perfectly. His ripped jeans were the same colour as the hoodie. He also appears to be taller than me.

"Hello, my apartment is near yours and I just wanted to introduce myself. You must have a terrible first impression of me right now," he said, grinning and chuckling. His voice was deep and smooth like soft velvet. Judging by his appearance, anyone would feel off about this guy, but maybe he just has a similar style to me and is sweet. I decided to be kind as there is no reason to show rudeness right now. "Um hi, my name is Fae. It's nice to meet you," I replied, my voice breaking so much he could practically smell the fear radiating from my body. He scares me a little bit. The mysterious guy slid his hand into his right pocket and pulled out a glowing phone vibrating angrily. He put the phone to his ear and didn't say a word until pulling the phone back down. "Sorry, I have something that needs to be taken care of so this conversation has to be cut short. It was nice talking to you, though." Our conversation lasted less than 5 minutes. Maybe he works a lot or does night shifts. "Oh, right. Well, bye." I waited for his response while my hand eagerly pressed against the door preparing to shut it. "Bye," he quickly spoke before leaving. Just as he left, I closed the door.

There are still so many questions pondering inside my mind. I've spent longer talking to cashiers than talking with him. Who even was that guy? He never introduced himself or gave a name. Why did he have to leave so soon? An unfamiliar ache in my brain began to develop. I vigorously rubbed my temples trying to soothe my mind and prevent becoming overwhelmed from confusion. Sitting down at the desk beside my couch, I grabbed my phone noticing the little notification at the top of the screen saying that my sister was ringing me. My finger pressed the accept button and waited. "Hey Faeyth! Mom wants to know how you are settling in, also she wants to know how LA is." Freya always sounds so bubbly and excited during most situations which shocks me a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I do the same sometimes but she never gets angry or upset. Except for one incident that occurred about 4 years ago. When I tried to take my life and was in the hospital for months, that was the saddest anyone had ever seen her. We both made a promise to one another to ensure nothing like that would ever happen again.

 She started to ramble on about how much they both missed me and hoped my flight was safe. Freya even caught me up on all the gossip back home. She has a new crush on this girl who works in a bakery near our mom's house. Wiping a hair from my face, I prepared to answer her eager questions as quickly as possible "Yeah, I just arrived inside the apartment, none of my stuff is unpacked yet except for some clothes. LA is alright but the prices here are shocking." The idea of a single donut costing around 15 bucks makes me want to vomit. Freya continued to ramble about her quote on quote *future wife* while my mom elbowed her in the stomach indicating she was speaking too much. I love that my sister shares this information with me but sometimes she can get annoying from how much her mouth moves. "Speaking of relationships, do you have anyone you have your eye on? Anyone you want to hook up with?" Of course, my sister would ask me that. I much prefer listening to her voice go on and on about the bakery girl rather than talking about my sex life. Honestly, the last time I slept with someone was a year ago but that's different to sex. My last relationship was five years ago and honestly, it proves that men can be so cruel. "Freya you know I'm done with guys' bullshit its like they are all the same!" She gasped dramatically at my words while putting a hand to her lips. "Faeyth Woods! That's not a nice thing to say about men. Besides if you don't like them then just date a sexy girl." With each conversation, it's like my sister is turning into a pervert. Women are not my type and I've never found them romantically interesting. "Bitch I tried dating a girl when we were teenagers and it didn't work out because they are not my type. But overall, dating is completely overrated and it's not something you will ever see me do again." She scoffed and rolled her eyes like a moody teenager. "Ironic how you said the same thing but about drinking yet you go out to parties and get black-out drunk despite vowing to never drink a single drop of alcohol ever again." My hand reached the end call button until she practically begged me not to press it. 

Freya kept talking about me "Finding the One" as if we were in a sappy rom-com. I don't know why she is giving me advice from Disney movies. The funniest thing is that she generally believes in them. She believes a prince charming will come swoop her into his arms and they will live happily ever after. Well, the harsh truth about Disney is that true love's kiss is all bullshit. "Maybe Freya is being a little dramatic about things but she does have a good point. Faeyth you should take your sister's advice and attempt to find someone new. Maybe it is time for you to settle down." God even my mom is trying to get me into romance again. She's probably only saying this because she wants grandkids. "She is my LITTLE sister Mom. You are telling me to take advice from my sister who is 23 years old and is 5 years younger than me! Besides the whole reason why I moved away is to focus on my career not wasteful relationships." Just as the word career was mentioned, my laptop finally loaded up meaning I could get back to work. "You hate finding love for yourself yet you write books about romance." I sighed knowing she did have a fairly good point. "Come on Faeyth do something fun and wild! go to a bar or a club just do something for the love of god!" 

Almost by coincidence, my laptop's internet connection began to fail almost like my sister travelled with me to LA and unplugged my WIFI box. Honestly, it wouldn't shock me if she did that. "Fine here is a deal. There is a karaoke event at this nightclub nearby. I will attend the event, have some drinks, sing, and whatever else you want me to do if you both promise to stop bugging me about getting into a relationship." They both exchanged a few looks before looking back at me and nodding. I knew Mom would easily agree mostly because she wants me to have fun an enjoy myself but my sister would most likely continue to bug me about dating because that's what she's like. Well, it was worth a shot at least. We said our goodbyes before I hung up the call and attempt to mentally prepare for the event before even thinking about stepping foot outside the apartment.