Changes - Minsung

Part 32

Minohs POV

Hyunjin and Changbin dragged me to lunch with the others.
I really don't feel like running into Han.
The whole night was just confusing.

I can't tell what got me into it.
Yes I had been drinking too but still.
What happened between Han and me threw me off a lot. I am still surprised and confused.

I know I like to tease him and get close to him to see him blush...but that.
And I kind of liked it too... I remember exactly everything and everything I felt about it. How I wanted more from him.

I'm straight. I'm not into boys. I don't do that with boys.
But Han is different. After we crossed those line in the pool... it was almost like an addiction.
To have more and more of him. I was really glad that I was still so in control.

That shouldn't have happened anyway. And I'm sure it's all going to be extremely complicated between us now.
I don't feel like the drama and Han certainly doesn't keep his mouth shut.
He was completely drunk and certainly didn't know what he was doing to me, but I... what excuse do I have...

I roll my eyes, poking around in my food.
Suddenly Felix runs away from our table and I see him jumping on Han.
Imperceptibly I watch the scene. Watch Han.
He beams at Felix, hugs him tightly.
Again I get such a feeling inside.
Flashbacks pass before my eyes of how I was much closer to Han than Felix is now. I know exactly how Han's skin feels under his touch and how he smells.

I avert my eyes as they approach the table.
Lee Minoh, I admonish myself.
Get a grip! Han has to get out of your mind.

Of course, Han has to sit down right across from me. I feel his penetrating gaze on me. I can't interpret what this means but I can't bring myself to look at him.

I listen to the conversations at the table only half-heartedly. Suddenly, my ears perk up as Changbin turns the conversation to Han and the party.

When my little brother asks where Han was and if he was making out with anyone I almost choke on my food. Gladly I just manage to get my breath back without anyone noticing my reaction.

And again it catapults my thoughts to Saturday night. To a wet dripping Han who looks at me with big eyes and bites his lower lip before he pulls himself towards me. Lookin so fucking hot...

I feel my ears turning red and my breathing becoming shallow. The thought of it makes me go insane.

Suddenly I hear Han s voice, which pulls me out of my thoughts.

"I have no idea. I have such a hangover after dancing I can almost not remember".

I can remember almost nothing? Hangover?

My head is still processing what Han just said, while my head does jump up slightly and I automatically look at han.

His expression is normal, slightly ashamed. I think he really is telling the truth.

But that can't be, can it?
He doesn't remember anything? Nothing that happened between us?

I'm skeptical, but I try not to show any reaction and go back to my food.

Somehow it doesn't make me feel any better, does it?
But that's what I wanted. That we don't make an unpleasant thing out of it. If Han doesn't know, there's no problem...

But why do I have such a shitty feeling? I should be happy, but I'm not...