I WEIRD YOU ❤️

I LOVE HIM?

Warning ⚠️: This chapter will contain mention of sexual harrasment and panic attacks.

ILAHI'S P.O.V

28 FEBRUARY 20xx,

I bit my lips contemplating what to reply. I'm sitting on my bed in a long tshirt that reaches my knees with sleeping shorts ready to lay down till sleep consumes me which is most probably at 3 or 4 a.m. After meeting Gracy my day went surprisingly good. She is a nice person and I'm willing to meet her again. But still not sure about letting her in so, I'm keeping her on an arm distance. Neither completely out but nor too close. After returning back and taking trial class for a tution, I was back home. The good part is I'm selected for the teacher. Atleast I can earn a bit and save for my MBA fees without asking for it from chachu. I don't remember at what part of day I sent a reel to Doctor, something about a routine. He said he will be more than happy if he will have a fixed routine which is understandable. I don't know much about his schedule but it is pretty fucked up since he doesn't eat or sleep properly. I don't know how that man even works withou sleeping. I told him that I will be so angry if somebody doesn't let me sleep properly. And further added that I'm a naturally angry person but lack of sleep makes me more grumpy. To which he asked that why I got this serious anger issues and I'm confused wether I should tell him the truth or lie. I have no heart to lie to him so I decide to type the truth. It's not like I'm good in lying or he will find out my real self.

Ishita:
My anger issues come from my family as a genetic gift (laughing emoji)
When I was in 10th I was sexually harassed by my ex. That trauma leads me to have panic attacks and anger issues.
I never dated after that because I don't trust men.

I don't give him any further details and it's not like he cares enough to ask. Keeping my phone aside my mind went to the horrible time that turned my life upside down because after that incident I'm never same again. My hands are shivering at the thought of what had happened that day. I close my eyes to control my breath but it is all in vain. My heartbeat raise, I feel goosebumps rising my whole body. My mind start racing with all scenes of that day. His words ring in my head repeatedly. 'I just touched you not undress you.' 'It's not a big deal.' 'I'm your boyfriend I have a right to touch you however I want.' 'No man will love a woman who don't like to be touched.'

"No! No! No! Shutup! Stop it! Please." I screamed. Thank God mummy is not here and in the washroom or she would have heard me having a panic attack. I take deep breaths, I can't let it consume me and become worst. I feel a light pain in my chest and before it could worst I heard my phone ring. I take 3 more deep breaths before picking up my phone and looking at the screen. Harsh Sandhu, my screen shows. ( Why is he calling me at 11:00 p.m.?) But before I could think why he is calling me or pick the call, the call ended. A message flash and I noticed three more messages that were sent somewhere in between my panic attack.

Harsh:
I think you should forgive him to heal.
We can't change the past but our past should not control our future.
Don't worry you will find a man who will treat you right. (Marking my message 'I never dated anyone because I don't trust men.)
Sorry I dialed it by mistake.

After reading is messages the first thought that came to my mind that he never asked what had happened which is a relief for me because I can't explain it not right now. But what he is saying is easy to be said then done. I knew he would not understand and his reaction was what I had expected. All men are same they don't care about a woman's feeling and he is no different. I was confused about what to reply so I sent which came to my mind. I know he don't give a fuck which is okay with me. It's not like I expected him to be concerned.