What if second chances come a second time?
Long ago, Hannah and Jonah called it quits. Long ago, Hannah stopped trying to make things work, and Jonah let her go. Long ago, Jonah mailed back all of Hannah's stuff from his apartment, and Hannah blocke...
Dad's eyes are wet. Red-rimmed. His gaze slides toward Mom, who's rearranging flowers into a vase in the living room. She's smiling the same sad smile I've gotten used to seeing for the past few years now.
I can't imagine what it feels like for them. How it feels to lose a child you've nurtured and taken care of with all your heart, almost in the blink of an eye. Life is unforgiving that way.
My dad turns to me and takes my face in his warm, big hands. His eyes, glimmering with unshed tears, roam every inch of my face. He doesn't say a word, and just pulls me into his chest.
I allow myself to sob. Once. Twice. Take a deep breath and wipe my face.
"He wouldn't want to see me weep," I tell him.
Dad smiles at me. "It's okay to cry. I weep a lot, just ask your mom."
"Grief has no expiration date." I laugh a little. "Or something. I think that's what my therapist tells me."
"And I agree with her." Dad squeezes my arm one more time. "Just as long as we get back up every time. Face another day with a smile. Live for him."
I nod at him, leaning to press a kiss to his cheek. "Love you, Dad."
"Love you, Banana."
He lets me go and comes for my sister, stealing Lucy from her arms and laughing at her shrieking giggles.
"Kiss attack for the birthday girl," he roars, making our baby girl laugh louder.
"Nooo! Lee! Lee!" Lucy cries in laughter as Dad tickles her side, reaching for my big sister who only shakes her head in amusement.
"Keep it away from the cake, please," Mom joins in. She wraps an arm around Dad and Lucy, who's ceased her giggles.
"Gamma kiss me, too," Lucy commands, and Mom complies. She places a loud smooch on her cheek, and she erupts in giggles again. "And Lee! And Mama! And Unc-Cole! Everyone kiss attack!"
Leann and I both kiss each side of Lucy's face, Cole dropping his on Lucy's stomach and blowing raspberries as he does so. Once again, we're all huddled together, but this time we're laughing instead of crying.
She brings such joy, a little light of happiness.
"Alright, now. Let's blow out the candles, yeah?" Leann breaks away first, to light up the three little stick candles on the cake.
We start singing Happy Birthday, with Cole whistling the tune in the background. Dad still holds Lucy in his arms, slightly bouncing her as we sing.
"Ready? Now you make your wish in your heart," I tell Lucy, and she nods, closing her eyes as she concentrates to make her wish. "All done?"
She opens her eyes. "Yes! I made my wish. Can I blow candles now?"
We all cheer as she blows out the candles. The three little candles that symbolize how many years she's been bringing light into our lives, and how many years it's been since a permanent hole was carved out of my chest.
Life might be unforgiving, but I guess it's also fair that way.
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