Purposefully Accidental

Chapter Fifteen

"This. This is the most iconic superhero movie of all time," Freddie says, voice muffled as he munches away on the cookies. "I've watched this movie probably about thirty times."

"I'm not too far behind—my brother's obsessed with these movies too." I fold my legs up so now I'm curled against the armrest. "I mostly watch along because the Chrises are hot."

He groans. "Why are you such a cliché teenage girl? Watch these amazing movies for the plot! Or, look at that crazy chemistry between Cap and Iron Man. Yeah, they shit on each other the first time they met, but look at how coordinated they are while fighting!" he rambles on and I can't help but smile a little at the wide-eyed look on his face as he talks.

"Ugh, you're worse than Cole. I've watched the Iron Man trilogy enough times to probably write a whole psychological analysis on Tony Stark."

"See! Your little brother's a true intellectual. I can't wait to finally meet him."

At my silence, he pauses to look at me, and studies my face for a moment before easily nudging my leg and says, "Well, don't sound too excited about getting me to meet your family, Hannah. Remember our Spring Break plans?"

I throw in a smile. "You're funny, Archer."

"It's why you dated me the first time 'round," he replies proudly, then he sobers a little. "Anyway, you feeling okay?"

I look away from the TV. "Sure. Why?"

He contemplates for a second before shifting around so he's sitting closer to me. "I noticed earlier... in the car. When Keith almost ran over that stupid cat. Or raccoon. You seemed a little shaken."

I let out a breath and nod. "I was. A little."

"I remember what you told me that night on your birthday. About the accident." There's concern lining on his furrowed eyebrows. "I figured that's why you looked so shaken today. So, I'm asking you again, are you okay?"

"A lot better now," I answer honestly. "It was... it was bad. I used to have nightmares about it. Um, I still do, but I've gotten better. But there are some bad days, and that thing earlier kind of threw me off."

I can't look at him in the eye when my hand's starting to shake again. I hate this, I hate seeing pity whenever I mention the accident. It's why I never talk about it at all. I hate seeing him concerned about me. I hate having him see me all pathetic like this.

"But I'm okay." I smile and nod toward the TV. "Let's just finish the movie—"

"Hey, please don't bottle it up. I always know whenever you're doing that shit and you're doing it now." Freddie pulls me toward him so I can curl up against him instead. "You were... I've never seen you look like that before. I don't think the others noticed."

"Well, that's good. I didn't want them to see it."

"If you want to talk about it..." he trails off, watching as I shake my head almost frantically.

We stay in silence as the movie resumes, until he gently speaks up again, "You've been different since Thanksgiving break. It's almost unnoticeable, and I know you've been trying hard to hide it from us. I just want to remind you of what I told you on your birthday: you can tell us what's bothering you. Anything. It's our job, as your friends. That's what you've done for all of us too.

"Again, I'm not saying that I'll be any good at giving advice or consolation, but... I can listen," he finishes.

Slowly, I nod into his side, eyes still staring at the screen though I'm no longer paying attention much to it. And then, "I have this... irrational fear of being left behind."