Bright Shadows 2: A Hinterlands Anthology

An In Descent Proposal

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Romance is a theatrical contact sport. Yet when someone asks you to "break a leg," it is best to politely decline.

Question: If you marry a ghoul, then does your eventual funeral include a buffet? (Ok. That joke was in poor taste.)

[The again, so is titling a chapter in an anthology based on an obscure movie pun... And, no!! I'm not older than dirt!!]

-- i'm only 450 in gerbil years --

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She: "May I ask you for a favor?"

He: "No."

S: "Come on! You don't even know what it is!"

H: "I can guess."

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S) Pout!

H: "Ok! Ok! What do you want?"

S: "May I rip out your liver and use it for a chew toy?!"

H: "Mmm...? Let me think... No."

S: "Be that way. I'm hungry enough to eat a horse."

H: "Still not volunteering."

S: "Hey! What's a little cannibalism between friends?!"

H: "Persistent little beggar, I'll grant you that."

S: "I learned everything I need to know from my Chihuahua!"

H: "Didn't you eat that little ankle biter?"

S: "No... He really did get run over by a car. And you're being a big meanie."

H: "—great: I've offended a ghoul—"

S: "What did you just say?"

H: "Sorry. Just being snarky. Having a broken leg is so not my idea of a good time."

S: "Well... I did offer to chew it off."

H: "It may come to that, but I'd like to keep it. I've — grown quite attached to it."

S: "Good one!"

H: "Thanks. I thought that you'd appreciate it. You know, I'm the one trapped here. You can leave any... time you want."

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S: "I know. Nice view to a kill, know what I mean?"

H: "Learning real fast. Yeah... It is a lovely view. Deer trail...

H:  There's a deer trail a ways downhill. Some quail, um, three thickets over?"

S: "Five."

S: "I counted."

S: "Both the quail and the thickets."

H: "You could go over, fetch you a snack. I'll... I'll be right here when you get back."

S: "Pass. You're more interesting."

H: "Huh. Is that 'cute guy' sort of interesting, or 'supreme pizza à la mode' sort of interesting?"

S: "Ew! You know I hate pizza! It reminds me of a ten-year old's acne!"

H: "Yeah. I concede. That is pretty disgusting. But, seriously, why am I still breathing?"

S: "Come on! You have to ask? We've known each other since we were eleven! I'd eat your mother before I'd eat you! You know... We could get married!!"

H: "You serious?"

S: "What? I've only proposed a zillion times a cycle since we were twelve! Of course, I'm serious! Duh! You know! Dog! Car! House! Two point five children!"

H: "And you'll eat the other point five."

S: (Giggle!) "Precisely!"

H: "Sure. When you put it that way."

S) PLLLLT!!

H: "Yes."

S: "What?!"

H: "Um. 'Yes' is sort of the traditional response — wifey."

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