Hypnotic

A Day with Logan

Two weeks have been painfully slow of not doing anything but melt into my couch and watching random TV shows on my TV. I couldn't even be bothered with going to the bar to hang out with Kim, Marshall, and a few of our close friends because I had lost all motivation to do anything. In other words; I'm burnt out. The case is getting closer and the only thing I've done to help me win this case is submit the pictures to my lawyer via email, I got a green flag from him saying that this will be perfect to present on the day of my trial.

I had my job interview on Tuesday, it's Friday today and I was told by HR Manager that I would be hearing back from the job sometime this week but this week is almost over and I have been aching to hear back. Marshall has been pretty mad at me for blowing him off and I explained why but apparently it's not good enough considering he calls himself an expert on getting fired from many different jobs but our situation is different; He isn't fighting custody over his daughter and niece, I am, I'm fighting to the bones for my little brother whose being treated like shit by my mom.

I'm free today to drop by my mom's to visit my little brother since I haven't seen him since that day in court. I get up and head to my room, I open the closet door and see a box poking out of the top shelf. This box is filled with random memories I treasure from my childhood, sometimes I look back at them and smile at how simple my life used to be. See, I'm not originally from Michigan, I used to reside in Wisconsin but we moved to Michigan when I was 10 years old right after my dad lost is job at this construction site and we ended up going broke. We moved here in hopes to start a better life but mom started cheating and then dad was diagnosed with Lung cancer and he died when I was 13 years old.

At 14 years old, my mom gave birth to my little brother and since then I had been more of a mother to my brother than my mom has and now it's pissing me off that she is pretending to be a mother when she paid no interest in him for 6 years of his life. I pull the box from the shelf and sit down on my bed, I take off the lid from the box and the first thing I see is a letter my dad wrote to me two days before he passed. It's signed "To my beautiful daughter, Nicole" I unfold the letter and begin to read "To my beautiful little girl! If you're reading this it means I wasn't strong enough to fight cancer and I died with the last vision of your smile. The last few days of my life, I've been visioning us two together celebrating your birthday, going on walks, and feeling your hugs. The hugs I'll never feel again, they were always so warm and inviting, one of my favorite things to help me get through the shit day I would have at work. I know you're angry at life, I know you hate life for snatching me away from you because you were always daddy's little girl but I want you to stop. I don't want you to cry anymore, I want you to smile, I want you to be happy and I know it seems like it's impossible for you to be happy but someday you will be and I'll be a distant memory. One thing I want from you is to read my letter no matter how old you get or what you're going through, always look back and remember how much I loved you. You were my whole world and when I take my last breath, I won't be in pain, I won't feel sad and anguish, I'll imagine your gorgeous face and let go. I'll always love you my sweet baby girl, Love Dad"

I squeeze the letter in my hands as tears stream down my cheeks. My dad was the best part of my life and since his death, I haven't been able to stop hating life. When I lost him, I lost everything, everything that ever made sense and was good about my life, vanished into thin air and my mom didn't fucking care because she had a dumbass boyfriend that I couldn't stand to be around, and after my dad's passing, he was trying to be a father to me. Yeah fucking right. He had no idea what it meant to be a father and then my mom cheated on him and yah, you can see how fucked up my life pretty much is. I fold up the letter and put the box away since I can't bring myself to look at them right now, I gotta go and see my little brother even though I can't stand to be around my mom.