The Way I Loved You [COMPLETED]

Chapter 30

Nanigas ako ng makita nya ako at bumaba sya mula sa sasakyan. I haven't seen him for months at lumaki nga ang katawan. He licked his lips at pinasadahan ang buhok nya ng kamay. He frustratingly learned to his car's door after closing it. Hindi ko alam kung tatakbo ba ako o magpapatay malisya na lang. What do I do? He's already there, on my doorstep!

Naglakad ako papunta sa gate ng bahay namin. Mabilis na nilagpasan ko sya at binuksan ang gate. I was about to close the gate after getting in nang iharang nya ang braso sa pagitan nito. His brows furrowed. Mukhang hindi sya natutuwa sa akin dahil sa dilim ng kanyang mga mata.

"What's with you? What's all of this? Is this how you treat me atfter disappearing without telling me a word?" Madiin at galit na sabi nya saakin. I got nervous at pinilit na isara ang gate pero mas malakas sya. He forced his way in at naitabi ako sa daanan nya. He went inside the house without a word with all the darkness from his aura. I swallowed hard as I followed him inside. Hindi ko alam kung saan magsisimula sa pag eexplain.

Hindi sya dapat nandito. Hindi na sya dapat nagpakita pa. Hindi ako nababagay sakanya, dahil mahina ako.

Every steps are getting heavy as I get closer to him. Prenteng naupo sya sa sofa ng bahay ko matapos ko itong buksan. Dumiretso ako sa kusina at nagsalin ng inuming tubig para saakin. I drank water and after that hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin. He's not saying anything kaya't mas malo akong kinabahan. Sinilip ko sya mula sa kusina at nakita kong napikit sya habang naka akbay ang isang braso sa sandigan ng sofa. He seems tired and exhausted. How do I shoo him away?

My heart is hurting again. I can't believe he's here again. Should I be happy? I still love him after all. Pero hindi ko kaya. I feel like watching a precious jem from up above while both of my feet are on the ground. He's too precious for me.

"Where do you think you're going?" He said in his low and serious voice. Sinipat nya ako gamit ang isang mata na papasok sana sa kwarto ko. He's not sleeping. I thought he was.

"Papasok ako sa kwarto." Matabang na saad ko. I tried to sound bland.

"You sit here. We need to talk." Mariin nyang saad. I didn't budge at patuloy lang na binuksan ang pintuan.

"Taffy! Sit the fucking down, I'm not playing with you!" Galit na sigaw nya saakin. Bumagsak ang balikat ko at agad na hinarap sya. His eyes softened when he saw me, about to cry. Pinalis ko ang luha kahit hindi pa man ito nahuhulog mula sa mga mata ko.

Lumapit sya saakin at sinubukang hawakan ang braso ko ngunit agad akong umatras.

"Umalis ka nalang, please." Pagmamakaawa ko sakanya.

"They've told me everything. I understand you. I've settled everything, you don't need to worry anymore. Please, don't be like this. I'm sorry, I wasn't there when you needed me. I'm sorry. Please." He said. Kumapit sya sa mga kamay ko. I finally cried in front of him. Humagulhol ako.

"Please, umalis ka na lang. Wag mo na akong mahirapan pa. Hindi ka nababagay dito. Hindi..hinding hindi ako nararapat para sayo." Sambit ko sa gitna ng paghagulhol ko. He hugged me while I'm resisting his body. Ipinirmi nya ako sakanya. He placed his hand on my head at marahang hinaplos ito. It calmed me a little bit but I it was just a short nirvana to me that I would continue resisting his peaceful embrace.

"I won't leave. I won't leave unless you say in my face that you don't love me anymore. I won't. I won't leave. Please, let me stay." Mahinang saad nya at tila nahihirapan din.

He wants me to say that I don't love him for him to leave? Sa tingin nya ba ay kaya kong sabihin 'yon?

Malakas na itinulak ko sya. "Lumabas ka na. Parang awa mo na."

Itinuro ko ang pintuan at umiwas ako ng tingin habang patuloy na lumuluha. I also saw him cry but he is not totally giving in. Pinipigilan nya ito, siguro ay sapat na sakanya na ako ang naiiyak. He wants ny feelings to be validated. Kahit ang sakanya ay importante din.

Malungkot syang tumango at naglakad palabas ng pintuan. I broke down in tears at napaupo na nalamang sa tatlong baitang na hagdanan. I have tormented him again. I'm such a bad person. Hindi ko deserve ang katulad nya. Lord, nagmahal lang naman ako. Bakit ganito naman ka sakit?

Hanggang sa kwarto ay dala ko padin ang luha. Nakatulugan ko na din ang pag-iyak. Wala na bang pahinga itong pag-iyak na 'to? Hindi ko na nga nakain yo'ng dinala kong tinapay. Hindi ko din alam kung nasaan na yon. Baka kinain na naman ng pusa.

"Ahhh!!"

Nagsisigaw akong lumabas ng bahay dahil may nakita akong ahas sa loob ng banyo. Maliligo na sana ako at nagulat ako pagkapasok nang may green na ahas sa loob mg banyo. Mas lalo akong kinabahan ng biglang tumalon mula sa bakod si Calren papasok sa loob. I panicked at nabunggo sya. He quickly grabbed my arms to stop me from falling.

"What happened?!" Nag aalalang tanong nya. He looked so worried that something might've happened to me. Parang hindi ko sya pinapaalis kagabi. He's still here. He stayed.

I felt my towel fell down on the floor leaving me only with my undies. Maliligo na nga dapat ako e dahil papasok pa ako sa flower shop!

"Wag kang titingin sa baba, please. Just keep your eyes on my face." Mahinang sambit ko. My heart skipped a beat when he grinned. Hindi pala sya umalis. Siguro ay natulog lang sya sa loob ng kotse nya.

"How do we pick that up?" He said in a husky voice at lalong inilapit ako sakanya. Iniwas ko ang tingin sakanya.

"Tumalikod ka. Bilis!" Inis na saad ko sakanya. "Ano? Bilis na! Talikod!"

He chuckled while turning his back on me. Agad na pinulot ko ang tuwalya at ipinulopot 'yon sa katawan ko. Nagmadali akong pumasok sa loob nga bahay, only to remember the snake inside. Bumalik din ako sa labas at nakapamaywang na sya saakin.

"What? I thought you're going inside?" He teased me.

"May ahas sa loob." Mahinang sambit ko.

The side of his lips rose. "Pano ba 'yan? Pinalalabas mo ako e. I guess you have to figure out how to get rid of that on your own."

Akmang tatalikod na sya saakin. I bit my lip. Pa'no ba 'to?

"Please, don't leave. Paalisin mo muna 'yong ahas sa loob." Saad ko.

He stopped moving nilingon ako. "It hurts me a little how you only want me to stay because you want something from me."

Nagkakamali ka. Gugustuhin kong manatili ka dahil mahal kita. Ngunit mas gugustuhin kong mawala ka saakin dahil mahal kita at iniingatan kita. Ayaw kitang masira.

Tumungo ako. I couldn't voice out anything. I couldn't defend myself. I couldn't reason out. I feel so dumb.

"But I'm glad. You let me stay. At hindi mo sinabing....hindi mo na ako mahal." He smiled. He's so warm. Nahihirapan akong itulak sya palayo. Kung sya mismo ang lumalapit saakin. He's never letting go of me.

"Alright, show me the little snake that scared my baby." He said huskily again before going in.

I'm doomed once again.