The Damaged Series (Book One)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: ELICIA

Entry 250

Dear Journal

I haven't been saying anything to you lately

But I am good, in fact I am awesome.

Remember Treadway, I have been talking to him a lot.

I never thought my feelings for him would grow any bigger but apparently they can.

I can't believe he doesn't see what is between us.

Or maybe he is just taking his time

Who takes a girl out for ice-cream, out for lunch, wins stuff for her at a carnival, visits her at home and not feel anything?

He must have some feelings for me, right?

He kissed me on my forehead, so he must have feelings for me.

Or just my imagination, but I hope he likes me

At times I feel like I should stop him from doing all this

Because if it turns out that he doesn't feel the same as I do,

I will be screwed, wrecked, broken

All of it.

But I can't help but want to relish the moment

Sleeping was now the second best thing after spending time with Treadway because I slept besides the teddy bear he bought me.

The following week after my session with Lydia, Treadway took me for a walk at the beach and l left my car in the basement near Lydia's office.

He asked a lot about me and l told him everything there was to know about me.

My best friend's death, my ex-boyfriend and best friend scandal and how my dad left us for another woman.

I tried to get him to talk about himself but it seemed like it was a sore subject so I let it go.

After a few hours of walking the breeze became chilly so we ended up in a café.

After having coffee and iced tea we saw a photo booth in the café and decided to take pictures.

As were taking pictures he stared at me with so much intensity that for a second I thought he was going to kiss me but he didn't.

I felt the connection and I was one hundred percent sure that he did too.

The camera flashed, he came back to his senses and he decided to leave the booth.

"Wait for me, I still have to take the photos." I say as I snatch the photos and follow him.

"If l didn't know any better I would say you like me," I joked looking at our photos from the booth laughing.

"Good thing you know better because I don't'." He says and I feel the pain of what seems like him rejecting me.

"You don't what?" I had to go on and ask.

He seemed to be contemplating on what he wanted to say next because he sighed and answered, "I don't like you."

As soon as those words leave his mouth I stop in my tracks, he continues walking to the basement where I had parked my car.

After a few minutes, I followed him.

"Give me the keys, I will drive." He says and stretches his hand towards me to receive the keys.

"Why not?" I ask him as l stand in front of him leaving at least thirty centimeters between us.

"Why not what? I said give me the keys." He asks confused.

"You said you don't like me." I say and go on to ask.

"Why don't you like me?"

"El, give me the keys."

"Answer the question!" I say a bit louder than I had intended to.

"Just stop." He says looking around and l realize people are watching; he continues walking to the basement.

I follow him and he stops in his tracks once we were near my car and it was more private.

He faces me to say something and as his eyes meet mine he seems to regret what he was about to say because my eyes were now filled with tears but he said it anyway.

I moved close to him leaving the same thirty centimeters between us as l did last time.

"I don't want to eat lunch with you anymore or go out for ice cream and stop asking to see me, we are not friends neither do l want us to be friends." He says and takes two steps away from me and I could see tears forming in his eyes.

Everything went silent, l felt like l had lost my ability to hear and talk at the same time.

What he said came on to me like a ton of bricks, l tried to steady myself from falling down because l felt weak to my knees, unable to stand but failed.

I ended up holding on to the nearby wall to steady myself and l saw him hesitate for a millisecond.

"Lydia said one only pushes away the people who are the most important in their lives. Am l one of the most important person in your life?" I ask moving towards him again leaving a small distance between us.

He tries blinking to hold back his tears but he fails miserably because our tears fall simultaneously down our cheeks.

Without a second thought he wiped my tears as I wiped his.

Seeing that we were back to being so close he takes a step away from me but l stop him by taking his hand preventing him from moving away.

"I love you Treadway, I love you very much." The words seem so foreign now that I say them out loud.

They sounded okay when l said them to Way, the teddy bear from the carnival.

We named him Way because I call him Way instead of Treadway.

"So, l can't do any of the things you asked." l say standing my ground.

"No, you don't El." He says looking to the side, away from me.

"I knew l felt something for you from the very first time I saw you sit on that edge of the building. You were holding a picture, you burnt it to ashes and started crying. From that day on wards I started watching you, I would wait for you to come so that I could see you." I say and he moved two more steps back leaving space between us one that made me feel like he was rejecting me so l moved closer to him again.

"It's crazy l know." I say more to myself than him.

"And l know you think that there is like no chance that we could be together forever, I don't know but I guess you could be right about that. Things happen but we will choose to fight for each other and stay together. Because if you love someone you fight for them and you give it your all; l am willing to fight for you. And I know you probably think we are going to hurt each other or one of us will get hurt and that's probably true to some extent but I will do my best to make sure that it's me." I move closer leaving no space between us and I stare at his lips.

They looked kissable so, l looked into his eyes asking for permission and when he didn't move back l did the one thing that l have wanted to do for the longest time.

l crashed my lips with his.