Only Hers

Cнаpтёя Tщёптч-Tщѳ

"I don't want to lose daddy."

I sit next to her and put my arms around her. I pull her to me. This is going to be hard for her, but it's like when I lost my mom. It's painful and part of you missing. I don't have a choice here and Juan can't stick around.

"I know mamacita, you get to say goodbye. I know that's not good enough, but you have me. I won't ever leave again, like I did before."

She wraps her arms around me and she starts crying. I hug her and I pat her head. She cries into my chest and it makes me cry. My heart ached for my baby. She doesn't deserve to be crying over something like this.

It should have been simpler. We should have been simpler. I wanted us to be simpler.

"You have to say goodbye to him mamacita."

I try soothe her at the same time, while trying to soothe my own cries. I hugged her tightly and she continued to cry in my chest. I pat her head and I smoothed down her messy cornrows.

"Come on mamacita."

I lift her head up and I wipe away her tears. I talk to her in Spanish and she still was crying, but I expected it. I picked her up and went to the elevator.

I was going to change her and let her have a shower. Do the whole thing we Juan, sit down with her talk, watch a movie, play a game or just something.

***

I looked at her as she stared at him. Kazimir didn't want to untie his hands, but I made him. It was 50/50 chance it might go wrong. I just had the faith that Juan knew there was nowhere out of this.

She wrapped her arms around him and he hugged her back. He was still her father at the end of the day and deserved to say good bye to her.

"I will always love you mija."

"I will always love you to papi," she sniffles.

She pulled away from him and she dragged her feet towards me. She looked pouted and cried, she kept looking back at him with pleadful eyes. I would have had her say goodbye than nothing. I picked her up and I started going toward the stairs.

She looks at him and her cries become louder. She waved at him and the only that fills my ears is her cries. I couldn't soother her tears at all.

"Mi amor," he calls.

I pause and I take a deep breath. I exhaled and turned around towards him. I held a crying Azura in my arms and my neck wet with tears. He looked weak just sitting there.

I kept walking up the stairs and as we entered the hallway. One of Kazimir's men was waiting there on guard. I handed her to him. I didn't want to, but I had to go back down there.

"I will be back mamacita, I have to say goodbye to your daddy as well," I say, softly.

"Take her upstairs," I ordered.

I walked back the downstairs and I stood right at the bottom. I didn't want to say anything infront of Kazimir, because it might just cause trouble between us even more.

"What is it?"

"You weren't going to tell me goodbye as well or are you too good for that?"

"There's nothing to say," I shrug.

"Nothing? Not a single thing?"

"What do you want me to say Juan? I'm going to miss you and I love you, because that would be a lie."

"Tell me about what you loved about us the most?"

What I loved about us the most? I tried to think about what I loved about us the most. I thought of what we used to do.