Yes, Masters (Book 2 of Desire's Den)

Update about Yes, Masters

Sometimes it's much easier putting words to my characters' emotions than my own, but please bear with me.

A while ago, I sent out a message letting you know I was taking a mental health break from writing. I see now that there's talk about me not coming back. It hurt me to read, but I deeply understand the disappointment that my lack of updating has caused, and I can't do anything but apologize and finally give you an update on what's happening.

It pains me to let you know that I need a break indefinitely from the sequel. I never expected the series to become what it is, and I was wholly underprepared for the pressure I would put on myself because of it. The fear of disappointing you have weighted so heavily on me that I became (and still am) paralyzed with it, and because of my fear, I've managed to do exactly that. I grew full of self-doubt, and it caused a writer's block that has made writing difficult for the last couple of years.

For a creative soul, it is extremely frightening for me to feel so empty and out of touch with my creative side. For the last few years, I put all other ideas aside, so I could put all my focus on "Yes, Masters" and everything else went ignored even as my fingers itched to write on those ideas. In a way, I didn't water my creativity, and it shriveled up to the point that ideas are far and few between, and I find it extremely hard to put words to paper. Each sentence feels like pulling teeth, and the plot feels extremely forced. My fingers stopped itching to write, and my head turned empty except for the never-ending urgency and pressure to work on the sequel, and all I feel is my chest tightening because I am stuck—with the sequel, with my lack of inspiration and creativity, with writing.

I need this break to rediscover the happiness of beginning new projects, of creating something new, of writing for the joy of it without the pressure I placed on myself. I need to do this to shake off my own imposter syndrome, so that when I am ready to return to the sequel, it will be with a bountiful of creativity and ideas, and I won't have to force each word onto the page. I will be able to start the sequel from scratch, with a new storyline that naturally progresses from the first book, without forcing the plot into a story it's not.

So, what is happening?

I don't know what the future entails, but I have a strong wish to finish the sequel, I simply don't know when. I cannot continue promising a timeline when my life and health is unpredictable. It's not fair for any of you if I keep giving promises that I can't hold, I've already disappointed you enough. So, it might take months, or years, I simply don't know. In the meantime, I will focus on nurturing my creativity, maybe write some standalone books or short stories. I don't know. I'll water my creativity and let it guide me.

The half-finished sequel of the current plot will be posted in the next few days, along with an explanation of what would have happened and who the stalker is. The reason why I'm doing this is because when the time comes when I am ready to continue the sequel, I want to start from scratch, edit the ending of the first book and give the second a more natural storyline that fits with the first book. I feel the current storyline betrayed the essence of "Yes, Sirs" and I want something that is authentic to the book so many liked. I will post a warning in the beginning of "Yes, Sirs" and "Yes, Masters" to let everyone know the story is on hold indefinitely. The current "Yes, Masters" will be eventually archived, but not until I've given time for anyone who wishes to read the half-finished work.

Please never doubt that you and your support mean the absolute world to me, and I am extremely thankful of every single one of you. I'll understand if I lose your support after this message, but if that happens, I still want to thank you for everything, and I love you. And please don't feel like I have abandoned you, I'll be back, I'm too fond of Emma and the guys not to, and I'm much too fond of all of you to ever abandon you.

I take absolutely all responsibility for disappointing you time and time again, and I am truly so sorry for not being able to hold my promises.

I also want to address the confusion of if the sequel is finished or not as I previously said I would only start posting the book once it was completed. I never got far enough to finish it as I struggled withholding material from you when you'd already waited for so long. I worked under the false hope that I would be able to do daily writing to keep up with the updates while also creating a new life as a student in a new country. It was unfortunately not a lifestyle I could maintain, especially when my creativity is so low, and that is another promise I've not kept.

Please know that I am just as disappointed in myself, if not more. I'm beating myself up about finishing the sequel, but I'm afraid the pressure got the best of me, and I need to learn how to handle it, as well as focusing on regaining my creativity.

I love you, and I'm so so sorry