Star Wars One-Shots

On Your Love I Stand (Part 2)

"Question – You tried to slit my throat!" Hunter's snarl is furious, but the hurt there is unmistakable. Crosshair nearly flinches on hearing it, because even now, his instincts tell him that he's supposed to protect his brothers from threats and pain, even from himself. And Hunter is always so good at being calm that seeing him this upset – it hurts. There was a time when, if one of them hurt, they all hurt together. Maybe those times have passed, but the echoes and impressions remain, and Crosshair can't stop the helpless ache at seeing Hunter hurting because of him.

"It was not my finest moment," he says, because he needs to say something, and nothing in the galaxy can excuse what he did to them. "I... regret it." He doesn't think it matters anyway, but at least he can offer Hunter that much.

Hunter exhales harshly, the tension in his body visible. "When did you take your chip out? On Kamino, you said you did. When? Did you –" His voice falters for a moment. "– You were going to have your men kill Omega on Bracca. Was that you?"

Is that what Hunter really thinks of him? Does he really, truly think that Crosshair would have tried to kill them time and again completely on his own? And yet, it's fair, because Crosshair never gave him a reason to think anything else. He hadn't wanted to, perhaps, since it was easier to leave, and he hoped it would be easier for them to leave him if they thought he turned on them. He doesn't – he doesn't really know why all he did what he did. There was a desperate need to protect, as always, and his mind had been so... muddled. It always was, after Kaller.

The first moment of true clarity had been when he shot Nolan on Barton IV.

It hadn't lasted long.

Hunter's question is very nearly a plea, and... Crosshair doesn't know how to react to it. He doesn't even know the truth himself, so how is he supposed to tell his brother anything? "I... I don't know," he admits. "I don't – I'm not sure what was me or..." His brothers – and the kid – spoke of a chip, but how can he know?

Hunter's lips part soundlessly, and he's visibly taken by surprise. "You said you took your chip out!" The words are almost defensive, confused. "Was that a lie, too?"

He looks away. "Everything was different after Bracca," he answers finally, touching the right side of his head, where he had the scar, before remembering that it's not there anymore and dropping his arm. "I – I remember the kid talking about a chip, and I just – I..." He trails off helplessly, shrugging. He doesn't know how to explain. He can't even explain it to himself.

***

Hunter... genuinely has no idea how to react, much less feel, as everything he thought he knew is brought back into question again. Ever since Kamino, he thought that Crosshair took his chip out, that he chose to do all the things he did. It didn't fit with the brother he knew, but then, he couldn't help wondering if he ever even knew Crosshair, if he was really capable of doing what he said he was.

Certainly, he wasn't acting as mindless as Wrecker was, or as he was at the beginning, and it – it seemed reasonable to assume that Crosshair spoke the truth. And then the destruction of Kamino happened, and Crosshair left, and Hunter couldn't let himself think about it after. It was easier to accept instead of wondering if Crosshair lied to them, if – if –

So many ifs.

But now, the question rises up, unbidden. Did Crosshair really choose to leave? Was it the chip? Did he ever take it out? Did – did they leave their brother a second time for nothing?

Or... is this just another deception?

Hunter doesn't want to think badly of Crosshair, but Kamino totally shattered his ability to trust him. Before, his trust was shaken, but it was still there, when he could blame the chip. The possibility of Crosshair having turned on them of his own? It broke that. He once trusted Crosshair to watch him sleep, to curl close to him without disturbing him. Now? Probably even hearing Crosshair's heartbeat while he's asleep would instantly awaken him.