Acidic Art

Force of Silent Vocals

It's just after 4 pm on a Sunday

I'm screaming on the inside

Until my silent vocal cords spit out

All over the hardwood floor

Falling perfectly into place

to spell it out:

"I miss him."

Can anyone hear me through the forced silence?

Can anyone see my vocal cords tightening;

Getting ready to burst at their seams?

I wish I could slit my throat without ending my life

so you could see how I'm being ripped apart

From the inside, out.

I feel like punching walls

Putting chaotic holes in them

Like a toxic teenage boy with anger issues

-Is this what it's like inside their heads?

(Maybe they're not as psychotic as we think)

ShitshitshitshitSHIT!

But instead what can I do?

Write.

I can fucking write.

:)

Just like Ernest Hemingway said to "write hard and clear about what hurts."

Here the hell I am! 

Who are you to say what I can and cannot do

when I am trying to listen to what The Lord wants first and foremost?

Who I get to love and when I get to love them?

Who are you to advise me your opinions like they're biblical

when I can't find a single passage to prove they're sound and safe?

Sounds like Bullshit.

Pure! Shit from a Bull

Trying to maul me into legalism

You cannot put timeframes on The Lord.

Isn't that what you preach?

Make it make sense.

I will listen to my Jesus,

Please and Thank you.