Me and the Devil: Sebastian Sallow

Chapter NINETY EIGHT - Cracked

(Another Love - Tom Odell)

The books always talk about time stopping after something traumatic. What they fail to mention is that the world keeps turning, leaving you to drown in the repercussions.

My lungs felt as if they had strangled my neck, breath lodged in the back of my throat. Somewhere to my right, Ominis was reaching out frantically, calling Anne's name again and again and again.

Sebastian was staring at me.

His eyes ghosted over and blank, flits of green smoke melted beneath the deep brown.

My mind jumped back to the Great Hall. To the time where the two of us had locked eyes across the tables and let down our walls, if only for a moment. Each allowing the other to feel what we felt, to relate to a world that had crushed our hearts and still held the broken pieces. 

This moment was entirely different.

This moment was slammed with emotions, cracked straight down the middle with anger and passion and chaos and 

disbelief.

Though I wasn't sure if that last bit was mine or his.

Maybe both.

I couldn't lift my eyes from his,

 couldn't breath, 

couldn't blink, 

couldn't move.

Anne's howl snapped Sebastian's eyes from mine but I couldn't seem to force my muscles to turn my neck.

"SEBASTIAN WHY?"

His lip twitched but he didn't speak, brows turning down.

"You- you- killed that goblin... You- made him- do it." Her voice sounded as fragile as the line our hearts were all teetering on.

Ominis touched my shoulder.

I think I flinched.

His eyebrows creased together and his fingers shook just inches above my arm, hesitant to touch me again.

"Atley?"

Sebastian's head whipped back to mine, lips parted now and shoulders heaving. He paused a moment to look me over before answering.

"I had to. It was going to kill you." His voice quiet.

"You used an unforgivable curse Sebastian..."

I was suddenly thankful we were the only ones left in the field.

That seemed to snap something in him as he turned quickly and took a step over to Anne. She recoiled as he reached a hand out and I could physically see his shoulders sink.

His nostrils flared as he clenched his fingers and tucked them back to his sides. "Like your curse isn't an 'unforgivable'? I'd say its far worse than what I just did. And what difference does it make? Either way, one of us would have had to kill it... Anne please."

The moon spilled over our silence.

"Where did you even learn that spell Sebastian?"

His head tilted to the ground, fingers now shoved into his pockets.

"I... just..."

"Tell me Sebastian. Now." 

Something shook in my stomach at the cut of her words.

Ominis seemed torn, fingers grazing my arm but his nose turned to Sebastian and Anne.

"I've just... been reading. Anne, I'm going to find you a cure. I'm going to save you and make you healthy again and-"

"What do you mean you've been reading?"

"Salazar Slytherin's spellbook..." Ominis breathed.

"I- yes. I didn't want to tell you two until I knew more, but I believe there may be something the Dark Arts can do, something that can cure you!" His words grew quicker with each breath a bit of a smile jumping up his cheeks.

"Sebastian no."

He stopped, eyes tracing over Anne, mouth open and brows knit in confusion.

"What do you mean no?"

Ominis knelt down beside Anne but she barely acknowledged him, eyes piercing through Sebastian.

"I mean no. I don't want you experimenting in the dark arts. That could...we know... no. I'm fine."

Those two words.

Everything we hoped to be true

and everything we knew not to be.

Sebastian scoffed.

"Stop it."

"Stop what?"

"Stop lying to yourself. Stop fucking lying to me. Stop telling yourself that it will be ok and that everything will work out how it's supposed to in the end because that's not the case Anne. That's not the fucking case." His bottom lip trembled harder now, his whole body seemed to shake at the effort to hold it together.

"Stop telling yourself that good enough is enough because for fucks sake Anne... Good enough isn't good enough!"

"Sebastian you can't do any more because there is nothing more you can do. You've done everything. Tried everything. Been everything."

"No. I haven't! I haven't been enough!  I was never enough! If I would have stopped you that night... If I would have kept you there at the house- kept you safe. It would have been enough... You deserve enough." His voice cracked.

So did my heart.

"But don't I deserve you too? — Don't I deserve to live my life, whatever I have left, with the people I love? Because if you keep going down this path with the dark arts, I'm scared I'm not going to have either."

"Anne..."

"Sebastian."

"...I can't let you die."

"Then let me LIVE."

She was on her feet now, stepping up to press a finger to Sebastian's chest while her other arm tucked against her stomach.

Sebastian's tears dripped against the white of his shirt.

"I love you Sebastian. Ominis loves you. Atley loves you..." She tossed her hand back to the two of us, standing still, hearts pounding quietly beneath our chests. "I know you. You are stubborn beyond all belief, but right now? I need you- Please. I- can't lose you too."

Sebastian's head hung low, Anne's nose tipped up to him.

Her heart held his soul, his soul held her heart.

"Sebastian.."

His name was all it took for him to collapse to her arms, hugging her through ragged tears and strained breaths.