ROCKSTAR LIFESTYLE {COMPLETED}

19

GET IN WHERE YOU FIT IN

Onika
LA
December 1st

I was supposed to be home, was supposed to be there a week ago, but I was comfortable. Things were changing in ways I'd told myself they would not.

I'd quit my job at the club, becoming big enough that I could no longer hide. A pregnant bartender was not a good look for a club like that.

I had been here for much too long. Long enough to feel comfortable, for us to have created a routine, for us to enjoy sleeping together at night.

I was comfortable, and that was not good, but I couldn't leave her. Not now. Not while she was in the midst of change and she was so close that I could taste it for her. Plus my birthday was coming up and she would have Julius tackle me if I tried to leave now.

"She looks good," Solana leaned away from me to whisper to Robyn, but I could still hear her.

The wholesome aura around the two of them had disappeared, and they were different now. I could feel the difference. When there was still doubt in my mind about this baby, they were behind me, had my back, shit like that. But now that Beyonce was tethered to her change, they had distanced themselves from me.

It felt as if they didn't want her to change. They complained and they argued and they ridiculed her about her downfalls, but I had not seen one single inkling of them trying to help her. Not even when I first became acquainted with them.

They didn't want her to change. They wanted her to keep having sex with them and continue not taking care of her responsibilities. They wanted her to stay stuck in that childish era she was stuck in.

I didn't see how they were attracted to that.

I wasn't wrong to blame them, but it kind of hurt to see this vindictive, petty side of them.

It is what it is though. I wasn't here for them."

Robyn scooted her body close to me but leaned to finish her conversation with Solana. All that was pointless. I could literally still hear them.

Beyonce had Symere on her hip and King beside her, holding his hand. Everyone in the crowd adored them, and they loved to see her with them.

How I'd seen things on the Internet, everybody loved love, and pictures spoke volumes. Beyonce loved those babies, and there was no doubt in my mind that she would love our baby girl all the same.

She wasn't malicious or anything like that, her mama just must have dropped her on her damn head too many times.

There was a tremendous amount of growing love for Beyonce in my heart. The more she grew, the easier it became to love her. She had endless potential, and not just in her music.

"What do you think?" Robyn nudged me, "You think she looks good up there?"

I nodded, refusing to say much. I hated that my radar was going off because I really, really wanted to like them and wanted them to like me too, but I wasn't going to ignore the red flags waving in my face. That wasn't the woman my mother or my father had raised me to be.

✫

Beyonce finally met us in the crowd with Julius in front of her and Tony behind her.

Chris, Baby, Gelo, and Ken followed to where we were as security pushed people to exit instead of getting close to them like they wanted. The flashes wouldn't stop going off, one phone being replaced by the last.