My Golden Boyfriend

5

The boys didn't want to leave their Daddy; Yoongi knew it would be hard. But with the promise that he'd bring them back the next day, they, not happily, but they went home. As soon as the door shut and he knew his boys couldn't hear Jin broke down into sobs. He was free, his boys were safe, and he could finally breathe.

The boys looked so good, it looked like Yoongi had been feeding them. They were fattening up, and it made his heart hurt that he couldn't do that for them. Jungho barely gave them money for food; he'd scrimp and save as much as he could. Finding change in the couch cushions and laundry. They lived off of rice and kimchi more than anything else. Getting meat was an absolute treat.

When Jimin told him that Yoongi got them lamb skewers, he was so happy for his boys, that they were getting to experience such great things. It almost made him wish he'd never woken up, he could never give them the life that Yoongi was giving them. Yoongi could provide them with a stable loving home, one with food and toys. All Jin had to give was his love, and honestly, they deserved more.

He fell asleep that night crying, crying for what he wished he could give his children. They deserved the world, and that's just not something he could ever give them. He had never hated himself more than he did in that moment. The next day, when the boys fell asleep in his arms, he looked at Yoongi, "Can I talk to you?"

Yoongi looked up from his phone, his face was all scrunched up in confusion. He nodded his head once, telling Jin to continue.

"If, would you be willing to take the boys?"

"I-what?"

Jin took a deep breath, "They aren't actually mine, but I love them like they are. In all ways but blood, they are my boys. I can't ever let Jungho take them back, but I can't give them a home like you can."

"I'm not taking your boys from you, Seokjin, you are their Daddy, and they love you."

"I know that, and I love them. But they deserve more, so much more than I could ever give them. You have a job, and anyone can tell that you care about them. With time, you could come to love them as much as I do."

Yoongi shook his head, "No, I will help you in any way you need, Jin. But I won't even think about trying to replace you. I'm here for whatever you need, but not that."

The elder's body deflated; that was his last hope. He knew that Tae would never take them, and while he cares about them, all he sees is the reasons that his brother was hurt for so long. Tae loves kids, and if he could get past that, he'd be a great father to them. But there's no way Tae would let him leave, and Jin can't stay and watch just how much of a failure he is. 

Tae was the smart one, the one who got a full ride to university. He made it out of their poor, miserable life, while Jin worked in a bar trying to make ends meet. That was where he met Jungho. At first, he was nice; he tipped well and flirted with Jin. Something that happened a lot, but Jungho's flirting felt different. It felt like he actually saw Jin as more than just a pretty face. He asked thoughtful questions, he asked about Jin's interests, he cared. 

It didn't take long for Jin to fall for the elder. To move in with him and live his fairytale. But then Jungho asked him to stop working; he made more than enough money for them to live; why would Jin degrade himself by working in a bar where he was leered at all day? So he quit, and for a while, it was fine. He cleaned the house; he always had dinner ready when Jungho came home. But then the dinners weren't good enough anymore, it started with yelling, then throwing of plates, and then it progressed to Jungho storming out.

Soon, it was him staying out longer and longer, and then the first slap happened. The next day, Jungho apologized, and he cried, begging Jin to forgive him. And like the idiot he is, he did. But then slaps turned into hits, hits turned into kicks, and kicks turned into more abuse. Abuse he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.

He'd planned on leaving; he'd saved up money and was going to run. Then Jungho walked in with Jimin, and Jin's entire life shifted. Nothing mattered but Jimin. He'd take every hit, every kick; he'd endure whatever Jungho wanted to do to his body. As long as he got to be Jimin's Daddy, he could handle anything.

He loved that little boy so so much, and then, right before Jimin turned two, Jungkook came. Jin couldn't have been happier. He had two beautiful boys that he loved, and that loved him. He didn't need anyone else's love as long as he had theirs. But Jungho kept getting worse, and he was worried about the boys. He was worried that one-day Jungho would find them in their safe spot and hurt them. 

He didn't know how to get away; Tae had offered so many times. But he was in college, and while he had a scholarship, he didn't have that much extra money. So Jin never took him up on that offer; he was the older brother he could figure it out. But fate had other ideas, and his beautiful and smart Jimin braved something so scary and saved him.

"I can't," he sobbed, "They deserve so much more than me."

"You say that, but I think you are exactly what they need. Are you perfect? No, but they don't need perfection; they need their Daddy to love them. Yes, you are a little broken, but that doesn't mean that you can't be put back together and come out of it stronger."

"You know nothing, Min Yoongi."

The younger stood up and approached the crying man, "We'll fix this. For now, I will step in and be and do anything that they need. But when you leave this hospital, be prepared to be their father. That doesn't mean you have to do it alone, but they will always need you more than they will ever need me." And with that, he left.

Jin knew he wouldn't leave for long; the boys wouldn't be able to stay overnight with him. But he gave Jin time to process his words and cry without witnesses since the boys were still sleeping. He pulled the boys closer to his body; he couldn't move much, not with his injuries. But he rocked them just a bit, just wanting to feel their tiny bodies against his.

They were his whole world, and he wanted nothing more than to be their Dad. He just didn't feel like he was enough for them, that they deserved more than he could ever give them. His heart and his head were fighting with each other, wanting to do right by them and wanting to be selfish. Yoongi returned and handed Jin a tissue, "You were right."

"I usually am," he mused.

"I just want what's best for them. that's all."

"I know you do; that's how I know that they'd be best with you. You think of them first, always. You stayed for them; you endured things that would break most, and you didn't."

"You called me broken earlier."

Yoongi sighed, "He didn't break you; you broke yourself. You are letting the things that vile man did and said to you dictate your inner voice and thoughts. You are a good man, Seokjin, and an even better father. Only you can put yourself back together, but I promise you, it'll go a lot faster with them by your side."