Cinnamon Girl

16- Fallingforyou

"What the fuck are you playing at Leclerc?!"

He's slumped sat down, his race suit half down, his eyes staring intently into mine as I scold him. Every fibre of my wants to scream at him for being so reckless.  Within a millisecond he had swerved every so slightly into Carlos leading to him flying over him. It was so incredibly stupid, all for some fucking points. I mean he could have died.

"You two are so fucking stupid"

"Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"I mean you're lucky you got out of that with only a scratch"

"Are you gonna fucking say anything?"

He remains sat down his eyes now blankly staring at the wall in front of him.

"Charles?"

His eyes shoot up meeting mine, slightly glistening.

"Are you okay?" I say now gentler.

"No Camila i'm not fucking okay" He snaps standing up as he starts to walk towards me.

"Do you not think I don't already know that I messed up, that I could have died, that Carlos could have died? I fucking know Camila"

"Then why did you act so reckless?" I cry out stepping towards him.

"I don't know! I obviously didn't mean to hit him, I just lost concentration for a second."

"Charles you're an f1 driver, you can't just lose your concentration"

"Then stop fucking distracting me"

He steps closer.

"Oh so you're blaming this on me now?"

Our faces are now inches apart.

"Yes because every fucking second of every day of every moment i'm thinking of you, your eyes, your smile, your laugh, do you know how exhausting that is Camila?"

"I do actually Charles" I manage to utter out, completely taken a back by his confession.

"Ever since I saw you in that paddock Camila, i've tried, god knows i've tried to keep my distance away from you but I can't stay away anymore."

He steps even closer, I try to move back but my back is now against the wall, his arm towering over me.

"You have a girlfriend" I say now whispering.

"I ended things before the race, she means nothing to me, she's not you " He whispers back.

"You can't do this to me"

"What?"

"Act like you hate me then act like my friend then go back to hating me and now you're saying you can't stop thinking about me?!"

"Camila"

"No Charles it's not fair!" I place my hands on his chest in an attempt to push him back.

"I know i've acted like an idiot, just let me explain" He pleads grabbing my hands pushing us closer together. I look away not meeting his eyes.

"Look at me Mila" I turn to face him, his eyes desperate.

"You hate me, I get that. I've been a jerk to you but i'm tired of pushing you away."

"I don't hate you" I let out, his eyes staring intently in to mine.

"You're an idiot but I couldn't ever hate you, even though you just nearly killed yourself and my best friend with you"

"I'm sorry, for everything, truly Mila" He looks away his face pained.

"It's okay" I say gently, pulling his chin to face me.