Unfailing Love

Eight-Be Still

Josh fell to his knees beside Jacob's bed and bowed his head.

"Thank you. Thank you, Lord God, for keeping her safe. For bringing her back to our son." His words were filled with emotion. "I'm afraid, Lord."

He took comfort in knowing God already knew what was in his heart and what he needed because saying them out loud opened wounds that had taken him years to heal. Just the thought of someone hurting Dani made him want to do violence to the guy, but he was wise enough to fight this battle on his knees.

Dani didn't need his anger or his protection, and she hadn't wanted his love. I miss you, Josh. I should have accepted your proposal. We'd have been a family. Her heartfelt admission tore him apart. Why did she have to do this now, Lord?

He hadn't expected to feel anything for Dani other than her being the mother of his son, and he knew he couldn't trust those feelings. But they were there all the same. Friendship, compassion, affection, love. They'd been best friends, and they shared a child. That was all there was to it. Wasn't it?

"God, what do you want from me?"

Silence.

Meredith was the one he loved. She was the woman God brought into their lives, and he intended to one day make her his wife. Jacob adored her, and so did he.

Dani's glamorous life didn't allow for a four-year-old. Her visits over the past few years had been short and painful the older Jacob got. It broke his boy's heart when she left. She might think she wanted to be a mother, but how long before reality set in and she got bored with an ordinary life?

Jacob needed someone who would stay, and that was not Danielle Christy. He ignored the voice that said it might be Danielle Spencer. She'd had her chance. Still, he couldn't deny his son the chance to know his mother.

"Daddy?"

"Shh. Go back to sleep." He brushed a lock of hair from Jacob's head. "I love you."

"Love you and Mer. And Mama." Turning over he pressed a small fist beneath his chin. "Mama," he said sleepily.

The innocence made his heartache. Jacob had been an easy baby, and now he was a loving child. It was as if God knew he needed all the help he could get, and had sent him Jacob, the sweetest, gentlest, most well-behaved child a parent could ask for. A child that loved Jesus. A child that longed for his mother.

Jacob asked for one of the last two Christmases. No, not just any mother. He'd wanted Dani. The mall Santa Claus had sent him a helpless look, not that it mattered. Jacob knew that the man in the red suit with a white beard could not bring his mother home. Only God could perform that miracle, and so Jacob prayed.

Dani had kept in touch and sent Jacob presents every holiday. Once she found out about Jacob's Christmas present request, she'd visited more often, several times a year—Thanksgiving, Christmas, his birthday, and in the summer. He'd give her credit for trying. After all, she didn't know how difficult it was when she left, and he'd never tell her.

He felt for the engagement ring in his pocket that he'd carried around for the last month waiting for the right time to put it on Meredith's finger. It just never seemed like the time to pop the question, but he loved her. Jacob loved her.

Meredith fit perfectly into their family. She'd been Jacob's first Sunday School teacher, and he'd felt an instant connection to her. God had sent her to him.

He bowed his head again. "Dear God, forgive me. Help me do your will. Watch over us and protect us. I don't know what to do. Should I let Dani back into Jacob's life? Should I ask Meredith to marry me?"