Finding True Love

Baby!

Abhiudey POV

It's already been a week since I get her back. But I feel like something is missing. She still closed herself off from me. She still woke up at night screaming. She was jumpy whenever I hugged her from behind. Whenever I asked the reason, she flipped me off saying give me some time.

But I just can't. I can't see her in pain anymore. She was sleeping in the bedroom while I was preparing dinner. She would have murdered me if she had seen me in the kitchen. Suddenly, I heard Isha screaming. I ran to the bedroom and saw her gasping for air and clenching her chest. She had been another panic attack. I ran to her and wrapped her in my arms.

"It's ok, princess. It will be alright...I am here. Relax... It's only a nightmare. Calm down, baby," I squeezed her back gently and soothing words to her; her breathing became normal after a while. She clenched my shirt, started crying. I never saw her crying so hard, seemed like she was crying her heart out. My shirt was wet in her tears which was my last concern. I felt so helpless; I couldn't do anything to reduce her pain. I only can hold her close until she stopped crying hours later.

"Better?" I asked her softly and felt her nod. "Let me in, princess. Let me heal you, please. Please tell me what's bothering you," I pleaded to her. I know I shouldn't push her but I can't just sit back and let her get hurt. She shook her head. She still didn't want to tell me.

"You will hate me... You will hate me if I tell you," wait what? I pulled back, cupped her face, and wiped her tears away. I kissed her softly.

"You are my little princess. You are my life, princess. I can never hate you," I expressed, kissing her cheek again.

Her eyes glazed with water. I went to wipe her tears. This time she pulled herself away from me. She get up from the bed and went to the balcony. I sighed and followed her. She sat there, keeping her knees close to her chest, wrapping her arms around the knees, and putting her head between the knees. I went and sat beside her, scooping her into my lap, cradling her head into my chest. She wept silently and I let her.

"I am sorry... I am sorry, Abhi. I couldn't save him. I tried but I couldn't. I am sorry," she talked suddenly, but I didn't understand what she was talking about.

"Save whom?" I whispered.

"Our baby. I had a miscarriage. I couldn't save our baby. I am so sorry," she sobbed. And I just froze, hearing her. She was pregnant. She was carrying my baby and pushed her away. I pushed her away the moment I should have been with her. What did I do! Isha's soft voice brought me out of my thought. It's not time to think about all these. I have to be strong for her.

"Shuu, don't cry, princess. It's not your fault," if it's someone's fault, that's me. I should have protected you but instead, I hurt you. I am sorry. "Don't blame yourself, princess. Don't worry, we can get through it together," I consoled her, kissing the side of her head.

"You don't hate me?" she mumbled like it's the most obvious thing to hate her. Silly girl!

"No, I don't and I can never. I hate myself for not being able to protect you and my baby. I am sorry," I started to kiss all over her face. She put her head on my chest, I patted her head softly. She fell asleep after a while. She was exhausted from all this crying. I carried her to the bed and laid her down gently, kissing her forehead.

I sat beside her, staring at her sleeping form for hours and replaying what she had told me again and again in my head; I can't get it out of my head that I have lost my baby. Now that I think about it, how strong my princess has become. She has endured so much pain for so long. I caressed her head. My eyes fell on her belly, I put my shaky hand on her stomach, leaned down, and kissed her stomach.