Giving in... Or giving up...

Chapter 78

"Careful love..." Chris says hovering around me with an anxious look on his face as i walk up to the front door with Sade in my arms... "I am careful babe..." I say smiling at him as he opens the front door for me... I walk into the house and smile... "Welcome home little one..." I whisper kissing her little head and Chris steps behind me wrapping his arms around me placing a kiss on my shoulder... 

"Why dont you go lay in bed and feed her... After that you two can both get some sleep..." He whispers and i smile... "Oh my own bed..." I murmur with a smile on my face and Chris chuckles... "You only have been in the clinic for one night..." He whispers and i sigh. "Yeah, and it is not like i slept while i pushed out a baby..." I hum and Chris chuckles... 

"Can you help me so i can change first before getting into bed?" I whisper and i can feel Chris smile as he plants another kiss on my shoulder... "Of course, love..." He whispers and i smile as we both walk to the bedroom... I hand Sade over to Chris who bounces her as he walks around with her singing a little Disney song to her... God if the world could see him like this, women would even love him more... He loved singing for her, and she seemed to love it to... I know it was ridiculous but i am sure she was already smiling at him to wrap him around her little fingers... 

I take a quick shower and change before walking back into the bedroom smiling as Chris had sat down with her on the bed... I crawl in next to him and when i am installed he hands her over and i feed her while we both watch her... "Other than you... I never knew i could love someone so much..." Chris whispers and i smile... "I know... It is insane..." I whisper and he kisses the top of my head... 

When i am done feeding i hand her over to Chris again who burps her and i scoot down feeling exhaustion set in... I watch him as he burps her and checks her diaper... My phone rings but i am too tired to even answer and i smile as Chris picks up while i am already half asleep... I hear it is my mom... The talk but i am too far gone to hear what about although i know it is about Sade...

I slowly drift off to sleep... I get woken up by Chris who almost looks apologetic again... "Sorry love..." He says holding a fussy Sade and i smile shaking my head as i push myself up... "Dont be sorry... I am the bar after all..." I mumble and Chris chuckles while he puts her in my arms and Sade latches on and drinks... "Your mom and dad say hi... They want you to call when you feel up for it, but they can't wait to meet their grandchild..." Chris whispers and i hum smiling... "Say hi back..." I mumble with my eyes closed and Chris chuckles again... "I send them some pictures..." He says and i smile... 

"Your mom?" I ask and i open my eyes a little and Chris smiles... "She says hi to... Send her some pictures to... Scott says congratulations as he was visiting her when she called and when they are allowed, they want to come and visit..." Chris whispers and i smile and nod... "Is it okay if we have a little time with her alone first... I am not really ready to share her yet..." I say looking at Sade as she seems to have had enough... 

"I was thinking the same love... First some family bonding time..." He says kissing my temple before taking Sade from me to burp... "Dotty and Rose brought over some food for a few days..." Chris says and i smile... "Sorry i missed it..." I whisper... "Oh no they didn't stay... They just dropped it off... Both you and Sade were sleeping, and they didn't want me to wake you..." He whispers and starts to yawn... I sigh... "Have you slept a little?" I ask and he blushes... "Will you come lay with me..." I whisper and Chris smiles and nods... He puts Sade in the bassinet next to the bed and crawls in next to me and i cuddle up to him...  

We quickly fall asleep cuddled up only to be woken up by Sade crying... "Sleep..." I whisper pushing Chris back in the bed as he wants to get up and i place a sweet kiss on his lips before getting out of bed... I walk over to the bassinet and smile lifting her out and i walk to the nursery... I pick out a clean cute outfit and change her diaper and cleaning her up. I change her in the new outfit and take a picture smiling... I sigh and look at my phone and send a picture to Seb... He still hasn't called or texted me and i make a decision... If he doesn't react to the baby picture i give up... He clearly doesn't want anything to do with me anymore... I never thought i would lose him but i guess that is life... It makes me sad, but it is what it is...

I lift Sade up and sit down in the big chair and feed her... I smile as i look at her and i can really see Chris in her... She has his eyes... That beautiful blue... I wonder if that stays that way... After she is done feeding and i had burped her i sit down with her again as she is making little noises... After a while i walk back into the bedroom and i put her in the bassinet again... "I love you so much little one..." I whisper and smile as she is almost asleep already... "Absolutely perfect..." I whisper again before crawling back into bed with Chris closing my eyes and drifting off again... 

I wake up in a daze and i look around... Chris is not in bed and i smell food... I check on Sade who is asleep and just as i am about to walk out the door opens, and Chris appears with a tray of food... "Hey love... I made you some food... Or better said i heated it up..." Chris says and my stomach growls and i chuckle... I sit down in bed against the headboard, and he puts the tray in front of me and he leans down kissing me... "Chris can i ask you something..." I whisper as i take a bite of the food humming as it tastes amazing... "Of course, love..." He says and i sigh... "Have you heard from Seb..." I whisper as i feel myself getting emotional and Chris sighs sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

"No..." He says and i have to bite back my tears... "I dont know what i did for him to ignore me... Yes, i moved but i kept in contact with him... I dont know why he all of a sudden stopped..." I say and start to cry as i realize i miss him more than i like to admit... "I know love... I dont know either i can only guess..." He whispers and looks at his hands a little guilty... 

"What? Please tell me because it kills me not knowing..." I plead with him, and he has tears in his eyes... "I think it because we got into contact again..." He whispers and i look at him stunned... "That makes no sense... He was always the one who stuck up for you... Put in a good word... It would drive me insane sometimes..." I whisper and Chris sighs... "I dont know love... It is just a guess..." He whispers and i sigh... 

"Are you sure there is not something you are holding back..." I mumble and Chris groans... "He was mad..." He mumbles and i am so confused... "He wanted me to stay in New York so you would be alone and come to your senses and move back to New York..." Chris says and i look at him stunned... "What?" I whisper and Chris groans... "He thinks it is ridiculous that you moved out of New York..." Chris says and i take a deep breath... "Why didn't you tell me before?" I whisper and he sighs... 

"You are so happy here... I am so happy here... We are both so happy here and it is a fresh start for us... For our little family... I didn't want him to ruin it..." He whispers and i look at him... "You are happy here?" I ask surprised and he looks up at me and smiles but there are tears in his eyes... "Yes... I love this place... I didn't think i could live somewhere else but Boston but this place... Well i get the appeal... I love it..." Chris says and i smile... 

I am just about to say something when Sade starts to cry, and Chris stands up and takes her out of the bassinet... I put the food aside and take her from him before pulling on his shirt and kissing him... "I am happy to... And i am glad that you are here..." I whisper and he smiles... "Sorry i didn't say something sooner... I was just scared... I can't lose you again..." He whispers and i sigh... "As long as you love us and stay faithful and honest to us you won't lose us... No more secrets..." I whisper and kiss him again... "No more secrets... Never again..." He whispers and i smile as he kisses me passionately... "It is you and Sade... Nothing else matters..." He murmurs into the kiss making me smile... "I love you Neve..." He whispers and i smile... "I love you to Chris..." I whisper back. 

"And i love you to..." He cooed at Sade and i smiled... "I love you to daddy..." I say waving her little hand at Chris with a baby voice and Chris smirks... "Wow only 2 days old and already talking... She is a little genius..." He says smirking and i laugh...