Giving in... Or giving up...

Chapter 40

"Neve?" Chris whispers as i am looking through the program smiling at Scott's picture... "Yeah?" I say not looking up... "Something wrong...?" Chris asks and i sigh... "Nope..." I mumble as  i keep reading the program as if it was the most interesting thing ever... Chris takes the program out of my hand and i look at him annoyed... "Hey i was reading that!" I say and i want to snatch it back, but he holds it out of my reach... I sigh annoyed and turn to Seb... "Can i borrow your program for a second...?" I ask and Seb who saw me being upset earlier and barely reacting to Chris now and he looks at me confused but hands me his program... I feel them both lean back and look at each other and shrug their shoulders and i roll my eyes... 

Out of the corner of my eyes i see them gesture something to each other and Seb clears his throat... "Are you feeling okay Neve?" Seb asks and i look at him and smile... "I am feeling fine..." I say and the lights get dimmed so i hand him his program back and i can hear Chris let out a frustrated sigh... 

The room goes even darker and when it is totally dark Chris grabs my hand and i look at it and sigh... Of course, now that nobody can see he will take my hand... Is this going to be my life now a relationship in the dark in the shadows... Only getting affection in the dark... Why is it bothering me so much now?  We had dinners in dark restaurants tucked away in private corners... We never went outside in the daylight together... No walks in the park even on a nice sunny day... No lunches or doing something fun... And it never bothered me until now... Was it really because the reporter was clearly flirting and i felt frustrated for being dismissed in front of her... Was it just jealousy?  Or was it the fact he just could dismiss our relationship that easy... Telling her i was just a friend came without hesitation... Was it the fact that she thought while he was single, she had a chance... 

The curtains open and i try to clear my mind as the play starts... Chris keeps holding my hand tightly in a way that i couldn't even pull it back and when i finally look at him he looks back at me... He looks at me with a tense look on his face and i look back to the stage not wanting to miss something... I want to pay attention to support Scott... So, i push everything to the back of my mind and concentrate on the play...

Scott is amazing... I might be biased but he really is stealing the show... The play is amazing and entertaining... When it is over, we stand up and clap for the cast as they take their final bow and i smile as Scott looks at me and i wink at him... 

We leave before everyone else leaves making our way backstage... There is going to be a after party and while i felt so excited for it before... Now i just want to be home but i dont want to let Scott down... I am here to support him...

It is a small room were the afterparty is being held just for cast and people who are invited like us... A few more people enter the room... Chris and Seb are being pulled into conversations and i take the opportunity and make my way to the bar... The bartender smiles at me... "What can i get you gorgeous..." He says and i smile... "Gin and tonic, 2 beers and 3 shots of tequila..." I say smiling back at him and he nods. "Are you here for someone of the cast?" He asks as he pours me my gin and tonic... "Would i be here if i wasn't...?" I say smirking... 

"Well i can tell you gorgeous... looking like that... You could walk in anywhere you want..." He says and i blush... "Well thank you... I'll take that as a compliment..." I say still blushing and he grins... "You should gorgeous... Because it is..." He says putting my gin and tonic in front of me with a big smile...  He grabs two beers putting them in front of me before pouring the 3 shots... 

I slam down my shot and look out in the room were Chris and Seb are still caught up in their conversations and i sigh... For a moment i contemplate bringing them their drinks but i dont feel like it and i look at the two shots left and slam them down to... 

Scott and the cast finally come into the room having changed out of their costumes... He sees me at the bar and walks over to me and hugs me tightly... "You were amazing..." I say smiling and Scott smiles back at me... We talk for a little bit and then he has to mingle and i am alone again as Chris and Seb are getting pulled into other conversations... 

I finish my gin and tonic watching the people in the room keeping a low profile not feeling like talking with people... I smile as Scott is getting hugged left and right and he is glowing from all the praise... I sigh as i see people mingle and laugh and joke having fun and i my eyes meet with Chris's and i roll mine and turn around to the bar.  

The bartender comes over to me and he smiles... "So, who are you here with gorgeous...?" He asks and right when he asks i feel a presence behind me... I can sense it is Chris his sent giving him away... "I am here with my... friends... Seb and Chris... We are here to support Chris his brother Scott... We decided to all go together you know make a fun night of it..." I say and the bartender looks behind me raising his eyebrow and i can only guess why... 

I turn around and Chris is standing behind me looking at me intensely... I grab one of the beers from the bar handing it to him... He takes it from me and i turn back around again ordering myself another shot and another gin and tonic... The bartender all of a sudden not so chatty anymore pours me my shot putting it in front of me and i slam it back enjoying the warm feeling of the alcohol spreading through my body... A few moments later the bartender puts the gin and tonic in front of me... "What is your name?" I ask and he smiles nervously... "Tim..." He says and i smile... "Well thank you Tim..."  I say winking at him and i turn around again to Chris who looks at me with a look i can't really place...