Dazai: It's true, my demonic prodigy behaviour came from Mori.
me: see?
Mori: i'm not going to deny any of that.
me: YOU DON'T FEEL AND OUNCE OF REGRET? WHAT THE HELL, YOU-
Kouyou: Mori.
Mori: Kouyou.
me: no. you're also lost the right to talk pedophile. shut the fuck up, i don't care if you're the boss of a mafia or a rat.
me: now we talk about Kenji.
ADA: Why Kenji?
me: look kenji's a sweetheart and he's actually amazing but... his crime-solving methods are a little unorthodox.
Kenji: It gets me results, and thats how life works in the village!
me: Kenji darling, you're in the city now. Life works differently.
me: OKAY now....... Dazai Osamu.
Dazai: I think we can begin now.
me: Okay so let's begin with your list of crimes. 136 murders, 312 cases of extortion, 625 cases of fraud and multiple other crimes. After this bullshit I don't understand how you're still on the side that saves people but you're there.
Dazai: I can confirm all of that.
Fukuzawa: YOUR RECORD WAS CLEAN WHEN I RECRUITED YOU WHAT THE HELL??
me: *whispers* never a good sign when the president starts yelling.
me: okay boys continue the arguement later, I need to continue Dazai's list.
me: second. THE MAFIA'S FUCKING SCARED OF YOU WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE??
Dazai: ..... Never telling.
me: Third, you left Chuuya without a word. I understand that Odasaku was your friend but... your partner? You left after bombing his car and I can guarantee that Chuuya would have at least heard you out.
Chuuya: Ari sushhh
me: I'm sorry, I had to call him out on that one Chuuya...
Dazai: I had to leave, I had no choice!
me: And no one blames you dazai, I was just pointing it out. I understand your reasons for leaving the mafia, you left an abusive environment and now you're in a better place so I'm glad
me: I'll give you guys a 15 minute break, sort out your relationship. Chuuya, there's wine and a nice sofa with pillows if you want it.
Chuuya: Well the sofa sounds nice
*15 mins later*
me: I think we can continue now? Yep we can. Dazai, your behaviour towards Auktagawa was literally horrible. Yes you rescued him from the slums but..... AGH!
Dazai: *hangs head in shame*
me: anyways: why must you always torture poor Kunikida? I swear he buys like a million pens every month because of you messing with him so much. Hell, you probably owe him more than 10000 yen at this point Dazai.
Dazai: Torturing Kunikida is the highlight of my day.
Kunikida: To be specific, Dazai's made me break 187 pens and he owes me 34512 yen.
me: Why the hell did you bother keeping track-
Kunikida: NOt to mention the number of time's he's stolen my credit card to go and buy bandages, ropes, snacks etc.
me: I think we're gonna end here before Kunikida starts reading out the list of the number of people Dazai has had complaints from. And now we talk about Kunikida!
me: YOUR VISION OF A IDEAL WOMAN IS BULLSHIT NEVER WILL YOU FIND SOMEONE LIKE THAT
Kunikida: AT LEAST I CAN HOPE
me: BITCH NO YOU DYING ALONE AND LONELY WITH 4 CATS IN YOUR APARTMENT
Kunikida: .......
me: Bye we're gonna stop here.
________________________________________________________________________________
Wow it took me 3 days to type out this 1043 words chapter, I'm proud of myself.
Also thank you so much for getting this story to 450 reads! I really love you guys and keep commenting pls! Feel free to message me privately if you wanna talk to me as well :)
BYEEEEEEEE
Edit: cant believe i received so many comments (not gonna say hate cause it wasnt) over this chapter and im debating unpublishing it- tell me what to do
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