Celestia wants to leave her home and get as far away as possible from her alcoholic mother. When she stumbles into a drunk man and helps him home, what happens when he becomes her way out?
#2 in Smile
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October 23rd
She's been asleep for an hour now and I've just been staring at her. I watched her chest rise and fall slowly, her lips twitch as she moaned softly, and I listened as she whined lightly as if she was having a bad dream...
I know I've already done some creepy shit but now that I've admitted why, I feel like I'm forcing myself to justify it so that I can keep doing it. It's like I can't stop making every aspect of my life about her. Painting her, watching her sleep...fuck I must be crazy.
I smiled as I brushed her hair from over her shoulder, her body pushing closer into mine.
Yesterday, I told her I love her. I was so scared to even admit it to myself that I felt anything like that for anybody but I told her I loved her more times than I probably have told anybody in my whole life. Now she's sleeping next to me, her body so relaxed that just watching her makes me feel peaceful.
Yesterday was the biggest event of my career and I can't even say it was the best thing that had happened to me because it wasn't about her.
She's made me do a lot of things I'd never thought I'd do. I didn't think I'd ever sleep in the same bed as a woman I'd slept with, I didn't think I'd ever tell somebody I loved them again, and I didn't even think I'd think farther than the next day into my future.
And the more I think about it, I remember how I felt before I met her. As cliche as it sounds, it was like I was a walking corpse. I was walking around and moving like I was alive but inside...I didn't feel that way. I felt more dead than anything else. And the way I was living, I probably was headed to the real thing sooner than I expected.
...what makes it worse is that I wouldn't have cared if I had actually died. If my ability to walk and talk and breathe were all taken away from me, It wouldn't have felt any different than living another day—no matter how painful my death may have been. My heart could've randomly stopped beating and I wouldn't have even had a thought about what I'd be missing or who would miss me.
Now, I can't even process the thought of leaving her. Not for a day or a week or even in death. Being without Celestia would be the worst fate that could ever be bestowed upon me—it would be worse than all images of hell combined.
And even if I really do go to hell when I die, I think I could accept it if I at least got to look up and see her every once in awhile.
This feeling that's constantly bubbling inside of me whenever I'm with her—whenever I'm just thinking about her, which, since I'd met her, has been all the time, I can't feel anything else. It makes my head spin and my throat burn and my heart ache, but it feels so good and it gives me this endlessly addicting feeling of happiness.
It's exactly how I feel when I look at her. Like I'm swimming in her galaxy-ridden eyes and there's nothing in this entire fucking world that could possibly be better. Even with her eyes closed I can't help but feel like I'm floating.
