avengers chatfic

chapter 29

acadec
(1:26am)

abe: does anyone have the chemistry notes from last practice?

betty: mj literally told us all not to lose them or else she will cut out hands off

abe: well nobody's perfect betty

shuri: i do

shuri: but im not giving u them

abe: shuri please

shuri: if mj found out she'd kill me and dump my body in a sewer

peter: MORAL PHILOSOPHY

betty: what???

peter: every action has an equal reaction. shuris ACTION of giving abe the notes would have the consequence of her being brutally murdered

shuri: what are u on?

peter: idk ive been re watching the good place and chidi keeps getting in my head about philosophy

abe: are u sure ur not high

peter: i was hanging out with bucky earlier and he's constantly stoned so maybe

betty: go to sleep peter

peter: cant

peter: gonna read "what we owe to each other"

shuri: STOP WATCHING THE GOOD PLACE

abe: peter ur one of the most morally ambiguous people i know stop babbling about ethics

peter: :(

betty: sleep.

peter: hope chidi eats all of u

abe: ??????

shuri: well thats not very kind

thanos hate club
(6:45am)

shuri: if at any point today peter starts talking about moral philosophy and ethics please just smack him

bruce: Those seem like good, productive things for him to be talking about.

peter: HA SUCK MY DICK SHURI

shuri: really depicting a proper moral philosopher there peter

steve: peter, you're getting into moral philosophy? that's amazing, good for you!

peter: yes i am :)))

shuri: no ur not

shuri: everytime he watches the good place he gets into an ethics kick then a week later he blows something up

bucky: good for him!! good for you pete!!

peter: :D

bruce: Have you read any philosophy books?

peter: i read what we owe to each other in one sitting last night

bruce: That's very impressive.

peter: see that shuri? im impressive

yelena: shut up

yelena: all of you shut the fuck up its so early

tony: ^^^^ pls and thanks

peter: now i could lie to you and pretend like i dont want to kick u in the teeth

peter: but my boy kant would say that lying is wrong, so i wont :))

shuri: wow.

steve: you could look at it from a consequentialism standpoint, where saying weather something is "good" or "bad" depends on its outcome.

steve: and kicking tony and yelena in the teeth would be a brilliant outcome.

peter: steve u goddamn mastermind

tony: why are they teaming up

yelena: dont kick me in the teeth wtf???

bucky: stevie, petya, im so proud

bruce: I'm not sure you two quite grasp ethics.

peter: yes we do shut up

clint: what is happening

shuri: peter and steve are discussing their warped philosophies

clint: k cool

peter: steve meet me in the library at lunch we're gonna talk ethics

steve: sounds good.

tony: i have a horrible feeling about this

yelena: im wearing a mouth guard just to be safe

tony: i dont have a mouth guard

tony: why dont i have a mouth guard

nat: u dont deserve one

nat: have fun studying ethics boys

steve: we will.

peter: thanks tasha <333

harley: oh christ is he back on his bullshit

ned: please i cant do this again

clint: ???

shuri: like i said, everytime he remembers that chidi anagonye exists he gets on this moral philosophy kick for like a week

shuri: then just randomly forgets that the concept of ethics exist

nat: steve can help keep him on the philosophy kick

thor: What does "machiavellian" mean?

bruce: Cunning or scheming. Why?

thor: Taylor swift said it.

shuri: thor my fav swiftie<333

thor: Aww!!

steve: everyone get ready for school, we're meeting at the front door at 8:10

peter: would it be ethical for me to block u and pretend i never saw that message

steve: no.

peter: consequentialism says that if an action causes more harm than good, it is bad. and ur action of making me leave my bed is causing lots of harm

yelena: nerd fight nerd fight

steve: yeah well the behaviorism theory says that you should be conditioned to wake up and be at school on time by now, so.

steve: not my problem that you can't get out of bed.

peter: i am going to murder you with my words at lunch.

steve: bring it on.

clint: why am i legitimately scared

yelena: as much as i hate them both, i NEED to see this fight

tony: @peter if u know so much about ethics tell me one morally wrong thing

peter: murder

bucky: ding ding ding thats a point for pete

tony: thats on me i set the bar too low

peter: :))

AN: sorry ive been rewatching the good place and moral philosophy is all i can think about so, u get this.