restored love

38

OLIVIA

I felt like shit.

I groan as I roll over reaching my arm to touch Tristan but instead I was met with the cold fabric of the bed.

I peek my eye open. He wasn't here.

"Wake up baby." I hear him say from behind me.

"It's so early," I mumble groggily.

"It's not," he says. "It's 8 am."

"Exactly. Too early."

He laughs. "You're always out of bed at this time Olivia."

"Come back in bed," I demand, opening my eyes to stare at him. He was only wearing boxers. God, he looks so handsome.

"Only for a few minutes," he murmurs, before joining me in bed.

I cuddle against him. "You're always so warm." I say, closing my eyes to go back to sleep.

"What's wrong?" he asks. "You're overly affectionate this morning." he amuses.

I open my eyes to look at him. "Can I not cuddle with my super hot boyfriend?" I ask, raising a brow.

He grins. "Super hot?"

"Super." I sigh.

"Well." he says, sitting up so he can lie against the headrest. I open my mouth to protest until he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me onto his lap.

"Well I want to kiss my extremely beautiful girlfriend." he murmurs, dragging his finger across my lips.

I flash him a small smile before he presses his lips against mine. It was a gentle kiss and I kiss him back.

I pull away and lean against his chest and he wraps his arms around me. "Let's go on a run." he murmurs. "It's not good for you to be sitting in bed all day."

"Later."

His fingers run against the hem of my night trousers and my pulse begins to race. "I love where this is going but my period made a visit last night." I admit

Tristan groans.

"Yep," I say, nodding my head. "No sex for the next week." I pat his chest. "How will you ever survive?" I sarcastically reply.

He narrows his eyes. "You make it seem like I'm a sex addict."

"Could've fooled me."

Tristan was addicted to sex. It was the first thing he craved when he woke up and the last thing he wanted before he slept. As much as I admired how addictive he made sex feel, I needed a break.

"Unless you're up for hot period sex." he murmurs, smirking at me.

I frown as I glare at him. "If you think you are putting your dick anywhere near me while I'm on my period I will chop it off."

He laughs. "You truly know how to make a man feel cared for."

I grin. "Now let's go back to sleep and we'll go on the run later on."

"I have to go to work soon." he admits.

"Oh," I murmur. "I do have to take Alyssa to her doctor's appointment. It's one of her last appointments before she births her baby." I whisper with a smile on my face.

Tristan stares to me. "We haven't really talked about that," he says.

"About what?" I ask.

"Babies. Us."

My pulse starts to race.

"I can't have kids Tristan," I mutter, my heart dropping at the fact that he may want kids and I can't give that to him.

"I know baby." he whispers. "We haven't talked about what you want. Do you want kids?"

I tilt my head to the side and shrugged my shoulders. "I will always want my own child. Someone I can care for, someone I can teach, someone I can show love to." I say. "I've had time to accept the fact that I won't be able to have that." I whisper.

"Every time I think about why you can't have kids it makes me want to hurt that fucker that put you in that position." his words were low and full of honesty.

My eyes close as my heart clenches at his confession.

"Tristan," I whisper, opening my eyes to look at him. His eyes were full of rage and guilt.

"I hope you know that no matter how bad you think your situation is, you can always talk to me. If you needed a safe abortion I would have granted you that." he whispers.

"I know that now."

"I'm glad you do." he kisses my cheek.

"Have you ever considered adopting?" he asks, changing the topic.

I nod my head. "If we decide to have kids, we can always adopt." I say. "Do you want kids?" I finally ask, my heart racing.

"I want whatever you want." he murmurs. "If you want kids then we'll have kids. As long as I have you, I don't need anyone else."

My heart warms. "Maybe eventually."

"I can see you as a mother. You'll definitely be a better one than both of ours." he says with a small laugh.

"I see you as a dad. Although, you'll probably be insufferably overprotective of our daughter."

"Rightfully so." he says. "I'll make sure she knows no man in the world is ever good enough for her."

I laugh. "And if we have a son?" I ask.

"I'll make sure he knows that it's okay to make a career out of his passion whatever that may be."

I smile. "You would be an amazing dad."

I almost wanted to have children as soon as possible just so that I can watch Tristan as a dad. He would be amazing. Tristan and I would never treat our children the way we had been treated.

I close my eyes as I lean against his chest. He plays with my hair and sleep eventually engulfs me. 

•••

I hear loud rustling. I peek open my eyes and I see Tristan looking for something in the drawers. He was dressed in his scrubs. 

"Work?" I groggily ask.

He looks back at me. "Yeah. I'll try to be home early. I really could do with a nice movie night with you." he murmurs, his voice has a slight edge to it. He sits ok the edge of our bed.

I sit up and move closer towards him. "Tristan." I whisper, touching his back.

"Yeah."

"What happened?" I ask.

He shakes his head with a small smile. "Nothing for you to worry about."

He stands up. "No," I say. "I am worrying about it. Tell me what happened."

"I'll tell you tonight."

I sigh before scrambling to my feet. "Fine. Tell me tonight."

His hands find their way into my hair as he tilts my head up so I can look at him. He kisses me. "I love you."

"I love you too." I whisper.

He leaves and I sit on the edge of our bed, reflecting on what the fuck just happened.