Smile

33

"Hey ladies!" Jax exclaimed as he approached Moonie and Rose.

"What are you interrupting us for?"

"Just wanting to let you know that Kai wants his girlfriend back and we figured out a solution."

She was staring at Jax like she was losing her mind but trying to hide it. The subtle shift in her eyes wasn't drastic enough to be noticed unless you were looking for it. It was like watching a typhoon build inside of a storm.

"Girlfriend?" Her voice was so quiet it was like the sound only came from her lips parting. She looked up at me then over at Moonie. "You said you guys were just friends." her words were sharp and broken.

"We are," I spoke up "just not friends like you and her are friends." I squinted at her, the urge to play with her building up. "Is that a problem?" I spoke smoothly.

"Kai." Celestias words squeezed against her throat and I took that as my sign to stop.

I'm not a jealous person. I haven't ever had a reason to be jealous. I was attractive, with no personality or emotions, seemingly endless riches, and no competition in bed. What was I gonna be jealous of? But now, I have Moonie. And Moonie has Rose who seems to be giving off some odd vibes right now and only toward my Moonie.

Am I competing for a girl against a girl?

She glanced between Moonie and I, her heart shattering in her eyes each glance she made toward Moonie. She looked as if she wanted to hear Moonie say something more than just my name. Like my name was the last thing she wanted to hear from her lips.

"No." She finally spoke before pushing past me and into the kitchen toward Aurua.

"That was fun!" Jax smiled before letting out a long sigh. "Let's get cleaning. I've got a date at 6."

...

I sighed as I leaned against the dryer. We've been washing laundry and cleaning for the past four hours. Jax is long gone and Rose, Aurua, and Moonie are all taking a break in the living room.

I managed to get a hold of a company that specializes in storm clean up and they said they'd help me figure out what to do after they get a chance to come by.

"Fuck." I sighed, resting my cheek on the cold surface of the dryer. I closed my eyes as I listened to the rattling of the dryer. Each turn of the blankets sounding so soft yet heavy.

Moonie.

It's so odd that I can't not think about her. I've spent over six years of my life fucking random people who fit whatever checklist I made up in my head. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't have sex. I'm not embarrassed about it, I never have been, but I can't admit that fully to her. I don't even want her to know that I'm not a virgin. Which I know she knows but just knowing how many people I've slept with makes me feel like she shouldn't be around me.

It's not like I haven't ever been safe. I've never had an STD or anything but still, I feel so dirty when I'm with her. I don't think I could ever admit it to her and face the possibility that she could look at me like that again. I don't think I could take it.

"What are you doing?"

I wanted to fall asleep to the sound of her voice flowing smoothly through the small space. I smiled, a breath escaping my lips as did whatever I was thinking about before she came.

"Are you sleeping?" I could hear the smile in her voice as she approached me. "We've got the water out and the floor is mostly dry so you could if you want to."

"C'mere." I held my hand out for her, my fingers wrapping around hers as soon as her touch hit mine. I pulled her in, my hands traveling up the length of her long arm and toward her neck. She chuckled lightly as she held me around my waist, my hand holding the back of her neck.

"What's wrong with you." She murmured, her voice muffled against my shirt.

"Nothing. I just love holding you."

"...Open your eyes."

I followed her softly spoken orders and opened my eyes to look down at her. I smiled as I stared down into her starlit eyes. "You're so perfect." My thoughts flowed from my tongue, her smile blooming in front of me.

Her nose scrunched up slightly as she looked away, her smile never disappearing. "Stop it." She giggled.

I hummed as I leaned down onto her shoulder, her head tilting up to rest on mine, as her hands held my back. "What'd you do to me, Celestia Hayes?" I mumbled, holding her tighter. "I can never hold you tight enough..."

"...neither can I."

If my heart could fly away, it would've. I felt her fists ball up against my back as she nuzzled her head against my shoulder.

This feeling ran through my body. I don't know what it is but it feels so sad yet comforting. I feel warm but like I want to cry and right now, I really feel like I can't hold her tight enough nor can I hold her long enough. I never want to let go but, for some reason, right now...I don't think I can.