After Dark || vmin

chapter 11: what if..?

AN: double update because i feel motivated today <3 enjoy hihi

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taehyung has made a decision. it's a hard one and he knows he'll have a very hard time actually sticking to said decision, but what needs to be done has to be done.

so he starts keeping jimin at a distance. he tries not to let the prince's natural touchy and affectionate behavior get to him anymore. he decides to not let jimin hold his hand anymore when he feels upset, decides to never again sleep in jimins bed.

he feels terribly sorry for his sudden cold and distant behavior, but he needs to keep the other male and himself safe, needs to make sure the prince's blood stays white and he doesn't get thrown into his prison cell once more.

he's not a good person and he knows it, but taehyung needs to stay sane, just for jimin's sake.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　☽༓･*˚⁺

of course his actions don't go unnoticed by the young prince.
more often than not he notices jimin trying to get closer to him on purpose - even closer than they were before.

when taehyung tries to do his work and concentrate on their surroundings, he'd suddenly have jimin on his lap, reaching out to hug him.

i need to be strong, taehyung thinks to himself, gulping when jimin strokes the hair growing close to the back of his neck, knowing full well this is a senstive spot for the man.
just a little longer and he'll understand i can't have him acting that way, he tries to convince himself mentally when out of nowhere he feels a pair of lip faintly kiss over his neck.

that's it. taehyung jumps up, making sure not to drop the prince in the process, but also making sure to put a notable distance between the two of them.

"what do you think you're doing, jimin?", the guard hisses and looks around frantically, trying spot possible spectators but luckily no one besides them is in the garden.

"i want you to stop acting like that, tae", jimin answers truthfully, looking at him with his big doe eyes. "i want us to be close again. nobody cared when we did what we did, so why would they care now? it's only logical for us to grow close. we spend every waking moment together."

of course taehyung knows jimin is right. nobody has ever said anything about them acting all cuddly and lovey dovey, but no one can guarantee this won't change. what if one day the king notices the very much not subtle touches jimin and him share? what if he notices them holding hands and sleeping together in the same bed?

taehyung shudders at the thought, at what the king might do to him when he finds out he's been 'seducing' the prince.
he might be generous and kill taehyung on the spot, but if he has a bad day he might torture him for such a long time, he won't even remember his name.

"this is not because of you. it's because of me. what if your father kills me if he finds out", the guard tries to be reasonable and his thoughts once again run wild.

what if he finds out you said you love me? then what? i'll die, he thinks and feels like he's going insane.

"taehyung!", jimin's sudden voice makes him travel straight back to reality, where there's just the two of them and no one else. just jimin and taehyung.
the prince reaches for his hands and gently squeezes them.

"everyone here knows just how touch starved i am. everyone knows i'll jump at the first possibility of having someone close to me. stop worrying."

"jimin! this is not about us being close, this is about you saying you love me!", taehyung finally finds the courage to say these dreaded words - these words he's not even sure of.

but all of a sudden jimin blushes, blushes hard and looks away.

"i never said that", he says but the way he tries to avoid taehyung's eyes tells the other one the truth.

"so you really did say that, huh?"

"i did not..."

"stop trying to fight it, i heard you clear as day. the last time you had me sleeping in your bed you said it. you said you love me."

for a moment jimin looks all small and fragile and taehyung wants to do nothing more than to hug him and hold him close, but he doesn't dare, doesn't want to make this even harder for the two of them, when suddenly the prince raises his voice.

"okay so what if! what if i said i do? where is the problem. nobody fucking cares and you shouldn't either! if you don't love me back just say it to my fucking face kim taehyung! i'm so tired of pretending i don't, i'm so tired of pretending i don't fucking love you!"

taehyung flinches as the other one raises his voice at him and lets go of his hands.

"jimin i-"

"no just shut up, okay? i'm sorry that i feel the way i do but i can't change it. if you don't feel the same just tell me so i can finally have a reason to move o-"

as if in a trance the guard leans in and carefully presses his lips against jimin's to make him shut up.

he knows it's wrong, he knows he shouldn't but when he feels how plush the prince's lips are against him he just can't help himself but lean in even more, reaching for jimin's waist and pulls him closer, pulls him against his chest and jimin reaches for his face to gently cup his cheeks in his hands. he feels the other man's lips move against his and he feels like he's in heaven. this must be what true love feels like, huh?

oh god, taehyung thinks, while they just keep and keep on kissing, i'm doomed. i'm so fucked.

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