"Hey! You guys are back."
"What happened to my sweatshirt?" Connor narrowed her eyes in her examination of Fleur. The cloth had been ripped down the middle by her younger self.
"Oh, uh, things didn't exactly go according to plan." Fleur tucked the pieces together.
"She gutted you?" Connor asked monotonously.
"Pretty much, yeah," Fleur exhaled. "You know, you could've told me she'd take being addressed as 'Fleur' so poorly." Connor's mouth gaped at a loss of words and she turned back towards the tv.
Five turned to Fleur and scoffed. "Kinda left out that detail. She gutted you?"
Fleur shrugged. "At least I'm not drunk anymore."
"You're drunk, at a time like this?" Luther looked at her with disgust.
"Were, and can you really blame me? This whole thing has been insane."
"Fleur!" Five hissed.
"Oh grow up, Five. And I wasn't drunk-drunk, just took the edge off a lil' bit." Fleur combed her hair into a ponytail with her fingers. "Helped with the effects that were crazy insane half an hour ago. Worsens others a tad bit but it's not like I was blootered."
The entirety of the family watched intently as the tv covered the previous events. "Authorities are asking for help identifying several persons of interest at Dealey Plaza at the time of the assassination. The FBI believes they may have been acting in concert with the alleged shooter, Connor Smith."
Haddock and Connor thundered a laugh as her old self's picture popped onto the screen. "Well, they got one bit right." Fleur couldn't bring herself to laugh having been filleted by her a moment ago.
"Vanya Hargreeves, wanted in connection with the deaths of several FBI agents inside the federal building at Dealey Plaza. A Cuban exile known only as Diego who recently escaped from the Holbrook Sanitarium."
"Cuban, huh?" Hadd snickered. Diego rolled his eyes.
"Another man known only as Fish, a southerner in direct contact with the alleged shooter." It was Diego's turn to snicker at the picture they used of Haddock standing next to his Connor. Easily mistaken resemblance.
"Yeah, yeah." He chuckled along with him.
"A bare-knuckle boxer with suspected Mafia ties who fights under the alias "King Kong." Allison Chestnut, a Negro radical responsible for instigating and organizing the recent riots at Stadtler's lunch counter. And finally, Klaus, the controversial cult leader and known tax evader. The FBI is asking the public to be on the lookout for this unidentified boy and girl, who they believe are being held hostage by the suspected terrorist network..." They showed a picture of Five and Fleur.
"Well, it's true. I do feel like I'm being held hostage most days," Five commented then looked to his love for hers.
"Yeah, and I mean being America's most wanted and a hostage by said person is taxing stuff. I think I'm having an identity crisis over here." Fleur cackled as their photos scrolled across the screen again.
"God, I hate that photo." Diego slightly shook his head at the tv with his arms crossed.
"They're saying I instigated the riot?" The Rumor scoffed. "That's unbelievable."
"Look, the good news is that we restored the timeline and we stopped doomsday. So—" Luther smiled.
"Yeah, a bunch of Goddamn heroes. We let Kennedy die," Two grumbled.
YOU ARE READING
Grand Theft (The Umbrella Academy)
Fanfiction"All is fair in love and war, Mr. Man." "Are you saying you love me?" "No, I'm saying we're at war." In another timeline... the child heroes of the Umbrella Academy were on a mission. A mission to track down the notorious thief who is only known as...
