Survive |° BTS Gang/mafia AU ° Namjoon/RM x reader|

17.

"You're so filthy" the man with white shirt exclaimed with the purest disgust. Hearing this coming from the only family member that you had was crushing. You felt worthless. No matter how bad you tried, no matter how pure were your attempts of trying to fit into the standards of your brother, it was still not enough. The pain in your heart stung so bad, a lump was starting to form in your throat. You wanted to cry so bad, so bad, but you just couldn't let yourself look miserable in front of Taeyong.

You and Taeyong were standing in his office. In his polished, full of expensive wood furniture and velvet office. He was still saying how awful you are, and you were still looking down like an embarrassed and hurt child scolded by his parents.

You felt awful. Even though it was your first fight, it felt like you were a professional MMA player who awfully failed. You were gaslighted into thinking that you're the fault, not them. Not the people who dumped you into that fire pit unprepared. Not the people who didn't teach you how to properly fight. And not the people who made sure you built your stamina for fighting. Not them. You were the fault. You were guilty for failing.

And Taeyong made sure to show you that.

No matter how hard you tried it was still not enough. No matter how hard you trusted others, you were still the one to put the full blame on. You were responsible for your and other's actions.

Unless you learned how to control and manipulate you were the one who would get controlled and manipulated. You knew that you had to pick up the traits of your surroundings in order to survive and finally get some appreciation. Especially from your brother.

They just had to wait.

___

The room was quiet. Only the rumbling of the paper was heart. It was rather a peaceful and sunny day. The sunrays were trying their best to get into the quiet room attempting to surpass the leaves of the tree in front of the window. The big and masculine hands of a man were busy signing the papers with an expensive and shiny black pen. The hand of the man was adorned with an expensive Rollex watch silently ticking under the breath of the gorgeous sharp features of his.

The silence was disturbed by a barged in old man, who was huffing from running. His forehead was sweaty and so was his whole face. "Excuse me... for entering so... abruptly.. but I.... have to deliver.. you some... news" his speech was slow with short pauses. He was so tired from running that he couldn't speak without trying to greedily swallow the air to calm his body down.

The man in front of the desk seemingly showed signs of surprise. His brows lifted up and he put his hands on the desk to rest his body on while slightly leaning towards the huffing old man. "What's the matter then?" The guy behind the desk asked in curiosity. His gaze was calm and simply interested in what the man had to say.

"I rember long time ago you told Jungkook to draw a picture of the person you were searching for, and–"

"Oh it's nice that you still remeber and cherish that moment. I'm sure Jungkook's art skills are something to gape at for decades. But it's okay though. I'm not looking for that person anymore." Namjoon shifted his gaze to the left, biting his lower lip but instantly returned to his calm and collected demeanor.

"Oh but I thought you were still... looking for her.." The man's shoulders lowered in defeat. He didn't expect that the message he wanted to deliver so bad was simply irrelevent to the leader. He was so defeated by what the leader had said that he only managed to finish his sentence only under his breath "because I think I found her" He looked at the man behind the desk who was engrossed by his previous work. The awkwardness was so uncomfortable that the old man decided to leave " I will be going now, boss, forgive me for my irrelevent intrusion" and he simply left. Namjoon didn't hear anything as soon as the old man reminded him of her. He was so engulfed in his own world that he didn't hear the last two sentences of the unimportant man. He, the whole team of his brothers tried to forget her. After her betrayal, it was hard for them to recover. They missed her, they searched for her, they hated her.

They all came to the conclusion that she was just an old homeless girl with no pity or shame. After all, she just got under their wing and then stole money completely destroying the bakery, that his brothers tried to run so hard. Despite the stubborn attemps of Yoongi trying to convince others that she was a spy, he finally accepted his brothers' way and admitted that she was just a greedy and evil woman.
___

"Punch harder" the black haired guy said with a boring and annoyed voice. "Not like that, fix your arm.. no no no.. no" you stopped, you were so dumbfounded by his comments. You tried to regroup and show him your stance, thinking that you did everything as it should be, but the man just breathed out in defeat, lowering his shoulders and resting his fingers on the bridge of his nose "You're so worthless.." He stayed like that for a minute without saying anything and keeping his eyes closed  "Can you... teach me please?" You asked with uncertainty in your voice. For some reason you didn't feel that comfortable around him, he was easily frustrated, distant and it seemed like he hated you for no reason. The question you asked was left totally ignored as he still kept resting his fingers on his nose bridge with his eyes closed.

"Listen, Mark, I can't learn if I don't know what to learn" you stated. Your patience with babying that man and listening to his passive aggressive pufs and hufs was slowly making you feel irritated. At that point his dangerous and distrustful aura didn't matter to you. You were just so tired doing the same shit over and over again without making any progress.

"I'd watch it if I were you, weakling." He instantly glared at you prolonging the eye contact and entering your private space. "Mark, I'm sorry, but I really need to learn how to fight. And if I need to learn, you have to give me atleast something to learn from" you said while making some distance between you two. He didn't answer to you, just kept staring as if searching for something. Was he searching for your insecurities? Your weaknesses? Or was he trying to find a fighter in you that could manage to walk through the nine rings of hell? You didn't know. All you two did was stare at each other for a good minute.

"Fine. I'll teach you" He said with some unknown determination that you couldn't sense before. What in the name of hell was he planning to do with you?