Serendipity | Colby Brock

37|This whole feelings shit

Chapter 37
"This whole feelings shit"

"Princess? Can I come in?" I sighed. I tuned the lock, opening the door just a little.

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanna help you." Colby's voice broke slightly. He seemed so upset.

And it was all my fucking fault.

He took my hands in his, looking at my split open knuckles. As he turned my hands, his eyes widened slightly as he saw my palms.

"Did you do that?" His voice was soft and gentle. I nodded hesitantly.

I saw Kaden through the crack in the door, he smiled at me and out the shirt on the ground.

He sighed, bringing my hands to his lips. He lightly kissed each of my knuckles, whispering things like "it's okay" and "I'm here for you"

Fuck. I really do not deserve him

"Thank you." He looked up at me, confusion lacing his beautiful blue eyes. "What for?" He cupped face with once hand, resting the other on my waist.

"Just from everything, you've done so much for me and I don't deserve it." I shook my head, keeping my eyes on the floor. "You, Sam, Jake, Corey, Kat everyone. You're all so nice to me and i-i don't know why-"

"You wanna know why?" He forced my eyes to his. "Because you're fucking perfect. In every way possible. You are one of the best people I know Aurora. Hell, if anything, I don't deserve you love."

"And I'm gonna continue to tell you, how amazing you are until you realize it. I probably won't even stop then if we're being honest." He cracked a small smile which I tried to return.

"I-i uh, I don't know how to respond to that." My eyebrows creased. I could feel tears filling in my eyes but I blinked them away, quickly turning around.

"Why do you always do that?" He asked. "Do what?" I responded quietly. "You never let anyone see you cry." He still had a hand on my waist.

"It makes me uncomfortable I guess." I shrugged. "Can we go to my room?" He said, I looked at him.

We were now sitting on his bed- or I was, he was on the couch. He wanted to give me space, which was nice.

"Talk to me angel, please." I was looking at the bed, picking at my nails.

"I uh- I haven't had the best history with men in my life." I let out a humorless laugh. "My sister- she um, her name was Sara. She died when I was about 13, she was 15." He nodded for me to continue.

"She was always my dad's favourite, he made it pretty obvious. He had this deep rooted hatred for me. My mom died giving birth to me, so I think he always blamed me for that." I explained. My eyes we're watering again but I never let any tears fall.

"After Sara- he took his anger, or sadness, or whatever out on me." I continued. His face dropped. "I ended up having to get home schooled for all of high school because the bruises were so bad." I chuckled dryly, running my tounge against my lip.

"It didn't stop until I turned 18, which is when I moved to LA. I couldn't handle staying in the same state as the man that hated me more than any other person." I shook my head, letting my hair fall into my face.

"My first boyfriend cheated on me with my half sister, her names Maddie. She didn't know we were dating, she also didn't know about what our dad did to me." I expected him to be ignoring me when I looked up. But he was looking at me with almost teary eyes.

He took my hands in his, which made me realize I had been digging my nails into my palms. I did that a lot.

"My dad- he would um 'punish' me anytime I cried. I completely shattered 2 bones in my leg freshman year and he beat me for 3 hours cause I cried." Colby sucked in a breath, but he didn't say anything, letting me continue.

"My second boyfriend, he told me he loved me, and i-i really thought I loved him too you know? But I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to lie to him because I thought that would be even worse than not saying it back b-but he told me that if I didn't love him, then no one would." My hands were shaking now.

"He killed himself the next day." The words came out as a whisper, as my voice broke. "He wrote a note and it said that it was my fault."

Colby was standing up now, he sat next to me and pulled my shivering body into his. He rubbed a hand against my back, taking my face in the other.

"I am so incredibly sorry gorgeous. I-i wish I knew how to help or- what to say-" he stuttered. He was so worried.

"No no no, hey look at me," he did "just talking to you about it helps, I haven't told anyone most of this before so it's honestly kinda nice." I smiled sadly at him.

"Plus, I mean were figuring all this stuff out together okay? I'm not good at this whole feelings shit either but we're learning alright?" He nodded, leaning his head in my chest.

I layed back so we were both laying down. We stayed like that for awhile. I think we must have fallen asleep.