Chapter 2 The Nightmare

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One summer night I came into my home and saw my mother in the kitchen cooking our dinner. I put my book bag next to the door and went into the kitchen and hugged her from behind. She smiled,

“Hello Isamu! How was your day dear?”

I went to look behind her to see what she was making for dinner, ramen with pork…my favorite.

“It was good mom…I just did some more studying at the library and walked around the village for some time…”

I looked to the side trying to hide my sadness from my mother, she knew me too well to buy it though.

“Did you run into mean villagers’ sweetie?”

I crossed my arms and went to go sit at the table with my head down. I did not want to look up or answer her, because if I did, I might start crying. And showing emotion was something we were not supposed to do…especially being heir chieftain. I got my emotions under control and pressed them far down so they would not come out when I answered her.

“No mom, it was surprisingly quiet today…it was strange actually. There were not many people out like there normally are in the market area.” I looked up at her with a small smile.

She turned around and started cooking again to ensure not to burn the noodles. She then grabbed a large spoon and filled two bowls with ramen and came and sat down next to me. She slid me the bowl and as she sat down, she looked at her food and started stirring the contents.

“You know Isamu…you can be honest with me. I know you have a challenging time being open and talking about your feelings and your father has done that damage to you as well…but I am not like him…I will not expect you to hide your feelings or emotions. It will damage you in the end if you continue to keep pushing them down.”

She took a spoon full and blew on it to cool it down as she side-eyed me to see my reaction. I looked down at my bowl and began stirring mine as well. I looked up at her with a half-hearted smile and nodded.

“I know mom…and I appreciate you for doing that…for everything …”

I looked down again trying not to make eye contact. I know my mom has been having an exceedingly challenging time with being pushed aside and shunned by my father just because she was supporting me. She had to do everything around the house, cooking, cleaning, organizing, helping me with my studies and schooling, and within all of that trying to find a moment to rest. I felt bad that she was constantly busy and never had a moment…nor had my father.

It was always strange to me, the stories of their youth she used to tell me, I could hardly believe that was my father. She used to tell me how caring and sweet he was with her, and how he treasured her and how he treated her like the queen she was…I just never understood and to be honest, a lot of the times I hated myself for this. I hated myself because if it were not for me being born…surviving the transfer…this is not how my mother would be…this is not how my father would be. I could not help but slam down my fist on the table to this thought. I was the problem! It was like I was a disease that plagued this village and if I were ignored and secluded maybe…they were hoping I would just wither away. Runaway…so no one ever had to deal with me ever again.

Do not get me wrong…I have thought about it numerous times. Running away to a different land and a different village. Starting a new life, not being known as the plagued heir to the chieftain but just as…Isamu. I dreamed about this consistently, but I also knew how devastating that would be to this village even if they did not see it now. No chieftain has ever left the village and not returned. The seal and the spirit bound them to lead and protect this village. That was the life I was born into and the curse I was forced to bear.

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