Her Tiny World

Chapter 25. Smell

Max

I was sitting there on the couch, staring at my hands. I was holding her in them and then I wasn't anymore. I was unable to say anything. Have I just let her go? I mean, without even objecting a little more? Really? I know she wanted to go back to her village, but... shit. I didn't want that, not now. Soon my vacation would be over and I would have to go home. It wouldn't hurt if they waited a little longer. Just a little longer and I would return her to her forest. I would, right? I sighed at my thoughts. I knew the truth and that wasn't it. Not even a bit. Neither of us asked for it, but here we are and I wasn't going to pretend it didn't happen. When I first landed my eyes on that tiny figure in my bedroom I couldn't believe it was real. I thought I was going mad. So it started to run away and I just couldn't help but grab it. I couldn't let that little thing slip away without taking a good look at it. So I picked the small person up holding they tightly so I wouldn't drop them. I tried to be as careful as I could so it wouldn't feel any pain. Then I saw it was a girl. I widened my eyes in astonishment, she was just like a living doll. She struggled and started crying and sobbing. Her cry was so low I could barely hear it. My heart ached in my chest with pity. 

I clenched my hands thinking about her. So my fingers moved at the thought as if she were in them. How I hated to have my hands empty. I wasn't asking for much, I just wanted to have that small girl again. 'I know what's dangerous for me. You! Then just leave me alone!'. I let my body sprawl out on the couch and closed my eyes. I replayed those words in my mind, trying to understand my own feelings. I remembered how scared she looked at me when I said that word 'keep', like it was her biggest fear. I had no idea how it sounded in her ears, but I had the best of intentions. It can't sound that bad. It's not like I was going to treat her like a pet. I would take such good care of her. She was the cutest and sweetest thing I had ever seen in my entire life, but was also too helpless and weak. I mean, I could stop her with a finger. Just a single move and she would be at my will. She wouldn't be able to do anything about it. What would stop me if I wanted to? It scared me to think how easy it would be.

'I'm not a toy, Max, I'm a person! I have feelings! I feel afraid!', she cried. She was there... so small and scared, completely helpless when she said that. Afraid of me. I should have let her go when she had the chance. It was the right thing to do, but instead I just acted like a monster. I overpowered her just because I could and still she struggled against me. Such a brave little girl. I chuckled. She had that never-giving-up energy and I loved that about her. I guess she didn't really want to go, maybe she was just confused and scared. However, she had every right to hate me now, and there was nothing I could do to change it.

"Well done, Max." I muttered angrily to myself.

"Are you okay, dude?" Someone asked me, pulling me out of that tangle of thoughts and feelings.

It was Josh. My head and my heart were still on that tiny girl out there so I didn't bother answering.

"Earth to Max?" He spoke again, this time waving his hand in front of my face to get my attention. "Are you there?"

"Hmm, sure." I blinked my eyes, slowly coming back to where I was. "What is it?"

"Chainsaw Man!" He was too excited about it. "I think it's my new favorite anime ever."

"You always have a favorite new anime."

"It's not true." He frowned.

"It is." Nick nodded, absentmindedly biting into a piece of a granola bar.

"Last time it was My Hero Academia," I added. "and you haven't finished watching it yet."

"I appreciate how you care about me." He rolled his eyes. "Can we just watch it, please?"