Twisted Beauty (A Sleeping Beauty Tale)

Chapter Forty

Despite being able to communicate with Drake at the doorway to my mind, reaching inside seemed to be an impossible task. I could reach out my mind to touch Drake, as if he were physical there, but there seemed to be a barrier of sorts preventing me from entering the depths of my magic. Perhaps it was what was left over from Diane's last spell – a suggestion Drake seemed to agree with.

"Magic leaves remnants, no matter how powerful the spell," he said. Hours had passed, and we had since moved to the table, where a maid was serving us tea and sweets. "Over time, I imagine it will become easier to access your magic, but for now, all you can do is practice reaching inside."

I nibbled my lip, trying not to appear too nervous. "And if I cannot learn control before I return home?"

"You will be perfectly fine," he assured. "It is unlikely Diane will be able to block your magic, since you have already used it, albeit in your ill state. If you practice drawing it out, you will have the chance to get used to it. The worst thing that can happen is you calling on it in an emotional state, so getting used to calling upon it will help. Practice daily, and all will be well."

I thought back to his training methods – the whole time, he had been trying to evoke emotions. Love, kindness, joy. Whether it was by whispering sweet things to me or asking me to remember something that brought me happiness, he had always tried to steer my emotions to be positive. Something told me it wasn't just to encourage me.

"What would happen if I called upon it when angry?" I asked, staring down into my teacup to avoid meeting his gaze. A moment later, he reached across the table to raise my chin.

"It depends on who your anger is directed at," he said after a moment. I understood what he meant, even though it made my chest feel tight. If I was angry at a person, they could get injured. Before I could even consider the implications, he continued, "But all will be well, if you reach for your magic consistently. You are stronger than you know, my love. I have faith that you won't cause harm."

His words of comfort didn't make me feel any better, even as I gave him a smile and nodded. It didn't matter whether he had faith in me; if I had no faith in myself, nothing could go well. But telling him would only make him worry, so after a kiss to his hand, I steered the conversation to other matters. There was no use worrying when we could do little to stop it.

***

Even with no luck in accessing my magic over the next few days, Drake and I tried to find positivity in me returning to Eshon. He was worried I missed my parents after so long, but even as I smiled and nodded along with him, anxiety built in my chest. I had so much to discuss with them, and yet had no idea how I would even start such conversations. How could I bring up how Mother did not birth me? Or how Diane gave me an illness that could've killed me?

Most of our days were filled with planning what we would do to keep them from launching a war. After being away for so long, with little to no communication, they thought I was being kept against my will. I silently scolded myself for never replying to Mother's letters to me. It was a foolish mistake; one I knew I would regret dearly when I returned.

The thing I feared most was my parents calling off the wedding between me and Drake. They would not care that I loved him with all my heart – I knew they would do it, despite damaging the ties between the kingdoms, if it meant they would keep him away from me. When speaking with Drake about my thoughts, he made a suggestion that would fix it all – something I would never agree to, had I not experienced Kallis and its culture. But I agreed to it, ready to mend the ties between kingdoms and prevent a war. And because I loved him.

And so, the evening before I was to leave came, where I found myself in blissful silence as Drake and I held one another. Dinner had been eaten long ago, so there was nothing in the evening that needed attending to. All was silent and calm.

Neither of us dared to speak, lest the silence break and all the bad thoughts rushed in. Neither of us wanted to think about what would come tomorrow. Instead, we savoured the peace we had in those moments. I was curled up against Drake's side, my eyes drooping as he stroked my hair.

We knew all too well that our plan could fail. All it would take is a declaration from my father to upturn the events of the past few days. But we had hope.

And without hope, everything would crumble, so we clung to it firmly.