Hope Always Dies Last | Chishiya [English]

When life is worthless

I didn't get to go home.

Not until this crude world let me go.

I was trapped, the realization hit me square in the face. Heiya was still standing beside me as I let my wide eyes glide over the playground.

"I-" my voice trembled, "Do the games never end? I must keep playing?" She nodded slightly before nodding toward the white table. There was something other than phones there now....

We walked towards it together, though I was suddenly very wobbly on my feet. As we got closer, I realized quite quickly what it was.

Clubs 5

It was the playing card. The card we had just played for. It was lying on the table all alone. Heiya eyed it somewhat critically. It seemed new to her to find a card.

"Strange," she commented, "I haven't seen any cards at my locations before..." She grabbed the poker card with her hand and seemed to cradle it with her palm. Then she looked to me before finally pressing the card into my hand. I was a little irritated.

"What are these cards for?", I finally asked and Heiya started moving. I followed her. "Do you know the poker cards?" she wanted to know and I nodded slightly before she continued her explanation, "There are all four of them: hearts, clubs, spades, diamonds. Every damn game you're going to play here has a difficulty level. Anything from one to ten can be there. And the type of card... will describe your focus." She pointed to her missing leg. "A game of spades took that vital part of my body," I noticed the bitterness in her voice and shuddered. "Spades is all about physical exertion, a game of clubs is all about teamwork," we reached the entrance of the playground, "Diamonds is based on intelligence and heart.... pray that you will never get into such a game. In a game of hearts, you play with the hearts of others, just as yours will be played with."

She stopped and looked into my eyes. "Shiraishi," the name echoed through the silence that had once again fallen over this place, "Life is suddenly worth nothing here. The Borderland is cruel if you don't fit into its ideals, if you don't play by the rules." She took one deep breath, "But I think you have good qualifications." The sentence hit straight to the heart.

I had good qualifications? What did she mean by that? Did I look like that?

She grinned slightly when she saw the effect her words had caused. Then she started moving again, waved at me without looking at me, and then disappeared into the darkness.

"Stay alive, Shiraishi Neiru!" was the last thing I heard from her before standing alone in the pitch dark again.

"You too?" it sounded more like a question than a demand. I couldn't think clearly, all the information clouded my mind and left a single void. All I knew was that I was stranded here, and for the time being, I wasn't getting away. I would always and always have to play for my life?

"Bloody hell!" the words suddenly spilled out of my mouth.

Life really wasn't worth anything here anymore.... Thoughtfully I stared at the card that was still in my hand.

Then I glanced once more at the playground, where I could make out the outlines of the corpses.

Life was reprehensible...

With these words in my mind, I turned and ran away. I didn't want to stay in that place any longer, otherwise I imagined I could hear the shouts of the dead. Without question, their faces would haunt my mind for the next few days....

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How right I was.

The next few nights I had hardly gotten any sleep, my mind had wandered over and over again. I had heard the screams, seen the lasers.... It was horrible and each time I had had to retch. One thing was clear: I would never be able to get used to it.

When the silence isn't quiet

I had found an old record player that miraculously worked.

And it feels like it's getting hard to breathe

For several hours now I had been playing the same song to fill the silence.

And I know you feel like dying

I already knew the song from the 'real' world. My mother loved it, so I had been all the more melancholy when I found the record.

But I promise we'll take the world to its feet

I wonder what was going on in the real Tokyo right now. It wasn't there, after all, if I understood Heiya correctly. She had called it Borderland, so it couldn't be Tokyo, could it?

And move mountains

I looked out the window. The sky was a beautiful light blue.

Bring it to its feet

How harmless this world looked during the day! You really couldn't imagine what would happen here at night.

And move mountains

I had also looked out of the window at night when I couldn't sleep. Again and again I had watched how certain places lit up. I had heard sounds, conversations, screams as well as the lasers. Every night... It didn't doubt that my visa was important.

The games, according to Heiya, were to earn a new visa. So there was no way around the games, I had to face them if I didn't want to get a laser shot through my head.

It sounded so surreal.

I didn't want to believe it, but my eyes gave me no choice. I had to if I didn't want to die. I wanted to live, even though I might not have any hope left.

There had to be some way to get home, right?

If you could come here, you had to be able to go back. I wanted to go back in any case.

Sighing, I rose and turned off the record player. Then I shuffled to the small kitchen and grabbed a water bottle I'd fetched from the pantry.

After the game, I had gone to my apartment, which I shared with my mother in the real world. I had noticed the foul smell, caused by numerous rotten foods. Without further ado, I had put everything into a garbage bag. The bag was now outside on the sidewalk.

The only things I had left were bottles, cans and snacks, all the stuff that didn't need to be kept cool. However, looking at my stock now, I probably had to go out again soon to get some.

First, though, I had to get back to thinking about when I was going to play again. My visa expired in two days. Should I let it expire and play a game that evening? Or should I rather collect a few days in reserve in case something happened to me?

The latter sounded more plausible, so I decided to go back to play tonight.

My stomach cramped a little at the thought and I put away the cookies I had just taken. I was not hungry anymore.

Then I looked at the window again.

Where would I be drawn to tonight? Rather: Would I come back alive tonight?