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Since the assassination attempt that we carried out together with otogakure on konoha, barely two weeks passed. The relationship between the kingdoms deteriorated accordingly and I returned to suna together with Hitomi, Temari and Kankuro.
I carried Hitomi with the help of my sand. Unfortunately, I no longer had enough chakra to transport all of us to suna, so it took us longer.
We took Hitomi to a hospital as soon as possible, and since then she has also been in a coma. The doctors said it wasn't even clear if she would ever wake up again. It was my fault, I knew that better than anyone.
I deliberately put that distance between us because I could see it then for a brief moment. The fear as well as the blank horror in your eyes. I knew what a bad influence I was and I just wanted to protect you... Not to hurt you further.
"I'm sorry, Hitomi...", I spoke to her, even though I was aware that she probably didn't hear me, "all the injuries I caused you.... Your scar on your face, for which I alone am responsible.... I am sorry. I know that can't be undone with a little 'I'm sorry'... you don't have to forgive me or anything like that either, feel free to despise me.... But please wake up again, Hitomi..."
For the first time in years, I cried and it hurt just as much as it did then. If not worse. I stayed with Hitomi until late in the evening, telling her about the events she had missed. Naruto's words at the end of our fight, my apologies to Temari and Kankuro, and the latest status between suna and konoha.
"See you tomorrow...", I said goodbye and as expected, of course, no reply came back. Until the next day dawned, I thought about my life as well as my actions.
Everything I did only caused more damage and although someone reached out a helping hand to me and I accepted it before, I tore myself away from it again and hurt it badly.
Unlike me, Naruto accepted the helping hands of those people who liked him and became a better person. He made it out of that dark hole of loneliness. I stayed instead, focusing on the hatred deep in my heart instead of looking forward, to the future. Forward to Hitomi.
