He doesn't like hurting/killing people. Not even his enemies.
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"Captain!"
Levi looks to the side and watches as you approach him on top of Wall Rose. Erwin have him a day off, so he decided a few hours ago to spend it up here, looking at he bright sky all by himself.
"(L/n), what are you doing here?" he grumbles, annoyed by the cadet who distracted his peace. He just wanted to be left alone.
You sit down next to him with a smile. "Nothing. Just wanted to give you company." you shrug.
Levi narrows his eyes with a scowl for a second. "I don't want company."
You sigh. The captain and you have been working together a while now, but in all this time you've never seen him look so.....empty. His eye bags are bigger than usual and his expression is lifeless.
"But I think you need it now." you whisper.
He looks down. These Walls are so big and yet they can't protect the people inside forever. He clenches his fist. "Tch. Go back, (y/n)."
You shake your head. "I can't."
"Why not?" his voice is quite, but harsh. You fear he's about to snap and throw you off the Wall.
It doesn't really matter how long you two have known each other – he has never shown weakness in front you, smiled at you or simply patted your head like he does with Hanji. Sometimes you think he doesn't even like you, but then you remember the times were he had calmed you down after a mission, brought you tea and played cards with you.
"You always help me when I'm not feeling well. I think it's only fair for me to do the same now." you glance at his side profile. "As a friend."
He scoffs. "What makes you think I'm not feeling well?"
"I can see it in your eyes, Levi." you murmur. "Your squad is dead, Annie is-"
He interrupts you with a hard glare. "Don't."
You frown sadly, but stay quiet.
You knew how much Levi cared about his four comrades. How much he cares about every comrade – even those he doesn't know. He doesn't deserve to loose one after the other. He doesn't deserve all the suffering. After everything he's been through already, he deserves to live in freedom and peace.
Capturing Annie wasn't easy. Levi was angry at her, he hated her, yes. But at the same time, he knew that he could never bring himself to kill her. At least not without regretting it. She was just a kid.
"Shit. I hate this." Levi hisses, hands balled into fists.
You move a little closer.
"All the fighting, murder and loss. It makes me sick." he shakes his head with a tiered sigh. "I've already hated in the Underground City. Sometimes I feel like a monster."
You hesitate, before asking, "But...you had to fought back then, right?"
He nods.
"You fought against the bad guys and your enemies. Just like now. And you fought to survive. You were forced to." you look at the sky. "That doesn't make you a bad person."
"The people I fought and killed were just like me, (y/n). They wanted to survive. They were forced, too. Everyone was in that shitty place." he finally looks at you.
Both of you stay quiet for a few minutes while enjoying the view.
"Do you still want to be alone?" you ask quietly.
He avoids your eyes. "You...can stay."
Never stop being a good person because of bad people
