Us Against the World (Louisiana Series #5)

Kabanata 36

36 - Fight

Please, let's talk. Let me explain.

Nanatili ang tingin ko sa aking cellphone matapos basahin ang mensaheng galing kay Theo. Mahapdi ang mga mata ko at hindi ko alam kung saan dadalhin ng pagmamaneho. I don't want to bother Rihann, and I don't want to go to Zachary. Siguro ay naroon pa siya kina Mamita. Is he still crying? Is he still hurt?

Kinabig ko ang manibela nang malaman kung saan dapat pumunta. I stayed in the parking lot for an hour. Wala ng mga luha, at kahit papaano ay humupa ang sakit kahit na alam kong babalik din iyon mamaya. It always comes back.

I got out of my car and entered the hospital. Mabilis ang bawat hakbang ko papunta sa kuwarto ni Daddy. He was fixing his blanket when he heard the door opening. Agad ko iyong isinara upang kausapin siya.

"Julie.." he called.

Agad akong nakaramdam ng kirot sa dibdib. Gaano kasakit kaya ang mararamdaman ko kung sasabihin niya sa aking may kinalaman siya sa lahat ng nangyari? Na sa lahat ng tao ay isa rin siya sa tatraydor sa akin.

"I didn't know you're gonna come here. Pauwi na rin naman ako." aniya saka ngumiti.

"Did you know?"

Pilit kong pinatatag ang boses ko. He still has an IV, and wears his hospital gown. Kumunot ang kaniyang noo habang inaayos ang pagkakasandal sa kama. He looks clueless about it. Nang makita niyang tumulo ang luha ko ay agad siya naalarma.

"What happened?"

"Did you know about it, Dad?" I asked again. "The gun?"

"Gun? What are you talking about?"

I wiped my cheek and inhaled deeply. Tama akong unti-unti ngang babalik ang sakit at hindi ako lilisanin. Taas-baba ang dibdib ko sa sobrang pagdaramdam. I hope he doesn't know anything. I hope he's still with me on this one.

"They blamed Zachary for the sin he didn't commit. And I blamed him, too! I believed them!" I cried. "Did you know about it? Alam niyo ba kung anong ginawa nila?"

Umawang ang kaniyang labi at hindi agad nakasagot. My hands were shaking because of the suspense I am feeling. Ngunit sa pagtahimik niya ay parang alam ko na rin ang isasagot niya. I didn't let it get the best of me. I asked one more time.. And he gave me the truth.

"Are you with them, Dad?"

"I know about it.."

Pakiramdam ko ay nabingi ako sa kaniyang sinabi. Sunod-sunod ang bagsak ng mga luha ko at wala akong kahit anong nasabi. I couldn't believe it. Walang naging reaksyon si Daddy nang isiwalat niya iyon, ngunit halata sa kaniyang mata ang pag-aalala sa akin.

My voice broke. "So, y-you're with them?"

"I knew about it a year ago."

Lalong bumagsak ang mga luha ko. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed and looked down. Hindi ko napigilan ang tuluyang bugso ng damdamin ko. Kinampihan niya sina Mommy? He should've told me the moment he knew about it! Bakit niya itinago? That is the same as lying to me!

"Why did you let me go through that? Why didn't you tell me the truth, Dad? Paano mo sila nagawang kampihan dito?"

"Hindi ko sila kinampihan.. Julie, listen to me.. Hindi ko ginustong itago sa'yo."

I sniffed and covered my face with my palm. Gusto kong makinig, ngunit hindi ko alam kung kaya ko ba. I feel like everyone in my family betrayed me, including Theo. Akala ko ay kakampi ko sila, o kahit si Theo na lamang, o si Daddy. Pero lahat sila ay itinago ito sa akin.