Us Against the World (Louisiana Series #5)

Kabanata 17

17 – Painful

We stayed there for almost an hour before deciding to leave. I didn't bother saying goodbye to everyone and just went inside the car straight. Hindi na rin naging maganda ang pakiramdam ko matapos na sandaling makausap si Zachary at Maddie. 

I watched Theo talk to some of my friends as he bid goodbye. They all looked comfortable with each other already. Nang makitang diretsong tumungo si Rihann sa sariling sasakyan ay napalinga si Theo sa paligid. I opened the window of my car and gently waved my hand to tell him I'm here. Tumango lang siya ay tuluyan nang nagpaalam. 

I was silent as he started the engine of the car. I rested my back on the seat and shut my eyes. I feel like my strength ran out because of that gathering. I heavily breathed and tried to not think of anything that had happened. 

"It's nice that I get to finally meet your friends. Akala ko ay sa kasal ko pa sila makikilala." nakangiti niyang sabi. 

"Actually, Theo.." 

I cleared my throat and found it hard to speak. Ayokong sabihing hindi sila imbitado, ngunit ayokong usisain niya pa kung bakit. I know he'll ask for my reason, and I don't want him to know it. Not when it will compromise my relay with him. 

"Hmm?" 

"I didn't give them invitations." I admitted. 

"Why? They're your friends." 

Umiling lamang ako. They were my friends. Ngunit matagal na rin ang lumipas matapos ang lahat. We are not updated with each other's lives anymore. They were my friends when I was with Zachary, and I don't want to be them when I'm with Theo. Pakiramdam ko ay wala akong respeto sa kaniya. 

"I just didn't give them. Let's not talk about it." 

The coldness in my voice was evident. Kumunot ang kaniyang noo at sandaling bumaling sa akin bago ibinalik ang tingin sa daan. Muli akong bumuntong-hininga. 

"Did something happen? You look okay with them earlier." 

Nilingon ko siya. "I looked okay?" 

Pagak akong natawa. I shook my head and focused my eyes on the window. I wouldn't have gone out if I was okay. Hinilot ko ang sentido ko at pinigil na ang magsalita pa ng kung ano. 

"Was there a problem?" 

"I always look okay, Theo." 

Theo and I never had an argument before.. It's one thing I have always admired about our relationship. But maybe it's because after everything, I learned how to just agree and not say a word. Matapos ang kahihiyang ginawa ko noon, pati ang mga salita ko ay binitiwan ko na. 

"What is it?" he asked again. 

"I'm tired. I just want to go home." 

"We're not going to talk about it? Anong problema?" 

I glanced at him. "I said let's not talk about it. Pagod ako. Umuwi na lang tayo." 

I know he didn't accept it when the car suddenly slowed down. Mariin kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko bago bumuga ng marahas na hininga. He looked at me like he was surprised with my attitude. 

"I don't want them there. I don't want them at the wedding. That's why I didn't give them invitations.." huli kong paliwanag. "And you don't have to ask me why." 

"How are we going to resolve this if we won't talk?" 

"There's nothing to resolve, Theo! I said I didn't want them there and that's it!"