Us Against the World (Louisiana Series #5)

Kabanata 11

11 – Date

I was submerged into the writings in my journal again. I knew in my heart that I shouldn't open it again. After standing firm in my decision to marry Theo, I know I shouldn't have read again. I should've been complete all this time. But I am not. I am still not.

Is it right to hope that the solution is in this notebook? Baka kung tuluyan ko nang matanggap ang nangyari, makausad ako. Baka kung balikan at maalala ko ulit ang lahat, muli ring bumalik sa isip at puso ko ang sakit at galit na naramdaman ko noon. Isang bagay na kahit kailan ay hindi ko maiintindihan.

I was an excellent reader. I put myself in different points of view just to understand every character in the story, to analyze the plot well, and to arrange my thoughts to figure out what the ending would be. I am good at that. But I can't seem to understand my Mother and Father. Lubos ko mang isipin, hindi ko rin magagawa dahil pilit nilang itinatago sa akin ang nangyayari. I don't want to think that their marriage is failing, but I don't want to look at this as a small problem, either.

"Ako ang narito dahil nawala siya sa'yo.. But if you'll have the chance to choose Cassandra, you will."

Narinig ko ang hikbi ni Mommy mula sa kanilang kuwarto. Pakiramdam ko ay nagkaroon ng lamat ang puso ko. It's five in the morning and she just got home, drunk. We don't know where she's been. Ang alam ko lamang ay buong gabing naghanap si Daddy. He didn't sleep, and I couldn't either.

I leaned onto their door to listen carefully. I know I shouldn't listen to their conversation but I am part of the family. I should know what's happening. Lalo na kung puwede itong maging sanhi kung bakit masisira ang pamilya namin. I sighed and pressed my ear against the door.

"That woman married an Aristizabal, Apollo! She married him! She's part of the family who ruined mine!"

"Here we go again, Juliette. Hindi na nawala sa usapan natin si Cassandra!"

I frowned when I heards two names. I assume that woman is Cassandra Aristizabal because of what my Mother said. She married an Aristizabal. And I can't play dumb that I don't know who that woman is. Her name is familiar, especially her last name. Zachary is an Aristizabal. Kumabog nang malakas ang dibdib ko sa realisasyon. Zachary's Mother is named Cassandra. I asked him that once, the day he brought me to Mamita's house.

"Dahil hindi rin siya nawala sa puso't isip mo!"

"That is not true! I love you, Juliette!"

Lalong nagwala ang dibdib ko sa narinig. Cassandra Aristizabal can't be my Father's mistress. Zachary said his parents love each other dearly because he sees it everyday. And I believe my Father. He said he will never cheat. I know he won't. Isang malakas na kalabog ang narinig ko mula sa loob ng kuwarto.

"I don't believe you!"

"You never did!"

Nabasag ang boses ng aking Ama. I broke my heart even more because I can feel his pain. He's not like some character I am reading, he is my Father. Kaya naman mas masakit itong marinig ko mismo sa kaniya. He's in pain. They are both in pain. What is happening to them? What does Cassandra Aristizabal have to do with us?

"Julianna, come on.. You're not supposed to hear that."

Isang malamig na boses ang narinig ko mula sa hallway. Lola was standing near the stairs, looking at me directly with a hint of disappointment in her eyes. Nahirapan akong lumunok at tumango na lamang. Dumulas ang palad ko sa pinto bago tumalikod. Isang kalabog ang muli kong narinig. I went home from college to spend time with them. Bakit ang gulo na rito ngayon? Paano pa sa tuwing wala ako?

I followed Lola to the dining. Lolo just got home from the US three days ago. He was sitting at the head of the dining room, seriously staring down at me while I took my seat. Pumikit siya nang mariin bago umismid at binalingan si Lola. His hair was all white and his Spanish blood can be seen through his appearance, and him being part of the US Navy is evident through his physique. Huminga ako nang malalim at bumaling sa itaas ng hagdan. Later tonight, they will pretend nothing happened.