Us Against the World (Louisiana Series #5)

Kabanata 19

19 - Love

"Where have you been, Julianna?"

Natigilan ako sa pagpasok sa bahay nang marinig ang boses ni Mommy. I removed the hood on my head and inserted my hand inside my pocket. She was preparing to leave. Again. Bumuntong-hininga ako at kaswal na itinuro ang labas.

"I was with Rihann, Mom."

She shrugged. "Ah, alright. I knew it."

"Yeah.."

Peke akong ngumiti at muling naglakad palampas ng salas. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was quarter to seven. Akmang aakyat na ako sa kuwarto nang marinig ko ang boses ni Mommy.

"Oh, Julie, wait."

She stood up and faced the large mirror as she put her large earrings on. Pinagmasdan ko siyang maghanda sa pag-alis. Kung aalis din naman ang mga magulang ko sa tuwing narito ako ay mas mabuti nang hindi na lamang ako umuwi.

"Do you know where your Father is? He didn't come home last night."

"He's in his office most of the time.."

Nagkibit-balikat siya at isinukbit ang mamahaling bag sa balikat. I saw her face the mirror once again to see how she looks. Bumalatay ang iritasyon sa aking mukha. She cares?

"Is that a problem with you, Mom?" I asked.

"It pisses me off. He gives more time to that work than to us."

"You give more time to your parties and night outs than to us."

Natigilan siya sa ginagawa sa harap ng salamin bago tiningnan ang repleksyon ko ro'n. She frowned before glancing at me. I didn't feel nervous when she met my eyes. Pagod na ako sa ganito.

"What did you say?" she bitterly asked.

"You will keep on proving yourself that you married the wrong man, but at the end of the day you will still continue to love him and you can't do anything but to accept that."

Umawang ang kaniyang labi sa sinabi ko at para bang hindi makapaniwalang sa akin nanggaling iyon. It's so hard to be silent when everything around you is falling apart. My whole life, I felt like a band aid trying to keep this family together. I became everything they wanted me to be.. But it was all useless.. It seemed like we're bound to fall apart no matter what I do.

"He's not cheating on you. His first love isn't even in the picture. You're creating everything in your head and you keep on ruining yourself."

"Julianna-"

I cut her off. "You can't even spend time with your only daughter."

Matapang ko siyang tinignan bago tinalikuran. Sometimes, I can't help it but get jealous of the friends and parties she attends. She gives time to it but nothing to me. Minsan tuloy ay naiisip kong nakikita niya akong ekstensyon ni Dad kaya pati sa akin ay nagagalit na siya.

I waited her to leave for the night before sneaking out of the house. Lolo and Lola falls asleep early so I did have to ask for permission. Gabi na ngunit mayroon pa ring iilang tao sa bahay ni Mamita. I removed my hood and looked around the house. Everyone is preparing to leave.

"Julie.. Where's Zach?"

"At their house, I guess. Doon lang po ako sa piano."

She frowned a little but she nodded at me. I sat down on the bench and played silent notes over the keys. I don't feel like playing the piano at our house anymore. Everything inside it suffocates me.

I sniffed and continued playing silently while thinking of Mom. I'm curious where she'll go at this time. Sana ay umuwi si Dad. I don't know why he's taking the night shift when he's the General. Siguro ay para lang din iwasang makipag-away kay Mommy. Maybe he's tired, too. But how are they going to fix this if they will keep on avoiding each other?