Diary: Whispers of the Heart

Diary: Chapter 55*** Last Entry

I spent uncounted days in the company of unknown sages, saints, and shams in the unknown jungles of Uttrakhand. I would just wander along them, smoke whatever they smoked, popped whatever they took to intoxicate themselves. It came to a point, when I woke up all alone in a deep thick jungle, all alone, filled with my own filth. I walked around 15 KMs and found a small temple beside a fresh stream of water and collapsed in front of it.

I was taken in by the Poojari of the temple. He cleaned me, fed me, and healed me of my immediate demons. Though he could not speak, still he taught me to fight against the situations. He taught me to meditate.

In the beginning, it just felt impossible, but by the end of 6 months, I was healed considerably and was ready to face the world once again.

I came down to Bangalore once again and searched for another IT job to sustain. It is not that I did not feel any pain anymore, it is just that I had found ways to channel my problems.

One day as I was feeling low again, I remembered the trick Poojari ji had taught me. He always wanted me to express or talk about anything and everything. It was in a way like my grandpa who would just listen to my whole day's chaos, without any judgment or advice.

Though Poojari Ji was not there with me, I took the support of Pen and Paper. To write down all the memories, all the happiness, all the excruciating pain.

It was just 2 days back when I was busy scribbling on the pages of my diary, I got a call from an international number and my heart sank.

"Avi, pooja here. I am traveling to India. The flight will touch down tomorrow evening. Can we meet up?" - She was calling from the transit and it was too noisy and loud around her.

"Yes!" - is all I could answer back with trembling hands

"I am in transit with limited connectivity, sending u a message with flight details. Catch u at the airport? will be there in Bangalore for 1 day." - she said all that in one breath and the call got disconnected.

It was as if my demons were back to haunt me. I had to take anxiety pills to calm my nerves down, but my hands won't stop shivering.

I shaved and tried to look as decent as I could and reached 2 hours early to the airport. But to my dismay, the flight was delayed by 3 hours. I would have checked the landing schedule of the flights at least a million times. I was never good at waiting.

After endless cups of tea, finally their flight landed.

I died 100 deaths waiting at the arrival arena scanning through each and every face coming out of the airport.

Finally, I saw Pooja di and Anubhav(Abhi's younger brother) walking out with two huge luggage trollies and my heart sank. I felt the urge to go back without meeting them.

I was still toying with the idea to escape from there when Pooja di saw me. She ran towards me and gave me a big hug.

I felt electrocuted when I saw Pallavi coming out behind them. She was having a friendly argument with Abhi who was pulling a stroller with twin babies stuffed in it.

Pallavi, Abhi, and their infants, twin baby boys. I suddenly felt the presence of oxygen back in the air around and breathing became much easier.

Abhi reached out first and gave a firm handshake and a bro hug. And then Pallavi came from behind and cheerfully asked - "Look at yourself, are you acting in some art film or what? what is with this Devdas look?"

"You look great, Pal." - I said wiping my tears. I was crying shamelessly, I realized.

"But you look Awful!" - Pallavi joked - "Meet the superstars - Ayush and Ayaan".