Diary: Whispers of the Heart

Diary: Chap 4*** Defamed...

After hearing sorry for a millionth time and two boxes of Haldiram Gulabjamuns, my hostel warden whose real name was Sree Satya Narayana Nagarajulu... something, Nagraj in short, finally excused me.

It was one of the days I'll never forget in my life...

Days passed and each day brought some kind of rumor or news that kept the hostel madness going.

The latest fervor started with the freshers' party news. For the first time in my life, I realized that boys also panic when it comes to looks and last-minute dressing.

There were discussions about Mr. and Ms. Fresher's contest. Fresher's party news was like a jungle fire. The atmosphere was filled with apprehension, discussion, and festivity everywhere.

During dinner time, Milind, another batchmate, dropped a bomb saying that the lead guitarist of our college band is down with jaundice and the band is worried about his replacement. Milind's cousin was studying at the same college, 3rd year, day scholar, so he was like the college encyclopedia for us.

"I saw a guitar in your luggage. Do you play?" ~ Milind asked me, amidst dinner.

"Well, I play some chords and a little lead as a hobby ... but have never played in a band or something" ~ I said sheepishly.

"Perfect, why don't you play in our college band?" ~ Milind asked

"I don't know... I mean... I have no idea which kind of music they play and why would they select me to play along with them?" ~ I replied with little anxiety.

"Hmmmm, because they need a guitarist as soon as possible... and what's wrong with jamming? Just meet them and see if you gel along with them." ~ Milind told

"Sounds good!" ~ I told

"OK, tomorrow meet them at 1 PM in the auditorium. I'll let them know you are coming." ~ Milind told in a hurry as he got up from the table to wash his hands.

"The talk with Milind filled my heart with excitement. Playing in a band was always my dream."

As I walked in, I found the auditorium crowded with students. I wondered if it was just rehearsals or a real concert. The band was famous and so were the musicians...

Asif – the lead singer.

Rachin - keyboardplayer.

Haja – The drummer

And the shortest and most talented guy - Rishabh - He could sing, play many instruments and was like a rock star.

Somehow I made my way towards the stage. I reached for Asif and shook hands while adjusting the guitar over my shoulder.

"Hi, I am Aviral. Milind sent me here. "I'm supposed to jam with you guys." - I exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah Milind told me today.... but, you know, we have almost planned for Rishabh to take care of guitar ...but no problem, let's jam together and see... Why don't you play something for us?" ~ Asif said.

I moved the iron stool near me and perched on it. With steady hands I took my guitar out of the case and checked the strings tuning. I strummed the guitar strings with an 'Em chord', closed my eyes and started singing - 

"Peeli dhoop pehenke tum

Dekho baag mein mat jaana
Bhanwre tumko sab chhedenge
Phoolon mein mat jaana..

Maddham maddham hans de phir se
Sona sona phir se hans de
Taaza gire patte ki tarah
Sabz lawn par lete huve
Saat rang hai bahaaron ke
Ek adaa mein lapete hue
Saawan bhaadon saare tumse..."

I would have sang for few minutes when Rishabh stopped me in the middle
"Enough... Enough... Enough, kid! Introduce yourself first."

"Well, I'm Aviral, first-year CS."- I replied calmly, though I didn't like Rishabh interrupting me.

"By intro, I meant, for which band do you play, what kind of music do you play? No one is interested in your qualification" ~ Rishabh mocked and his fans gathered around hooted in support of him.

It was rude but I controlled my temper and replied - "I haven't played in a band yet, but have given some solo performances during my school functions." I mainly like fusion of Indian classical with western sound, Melody-based, little Jazz, and mostly AR Rahman stuff. I am a huge fan of him."

"Kiddo, we don't play filmy music here. We are hardcore music fans. We play heavy metal. Metallica, Nirvana, and all that stuff. So please play your filmy music at some traffic signals and it might fetch you some pennies." ~ Rishabh who was completely entwined in Ego at that moment mocked me again as if speaking respectfully to a fresher was against the college senior rulebook.

I didn't want to fall prey to another Senior prank so somehow I controlled my anger but the AR Rahman Fan inside me didn't allow me to be silent and I said - "Sir, music is music,whether it's played in films or band albums."

My calmness annoyed Rishabh even more and he asked aggressively - "Music is it? Tell me what do you know about music?"

"What do you want to know about music?" I asked with equal aggression.

Rishabh mocked a smile and said - "I dare you to play something on fresher's day and get at least half as much applause as we get during our performances. Can you?"

"I don't know what your problem is with me but sure! If you need a demo, I'll surely demonstrate to you how to play music that reaches everyone's heart and not only pleases the one who bangs the instrument." - I said

The crowd started booing me and I felt like the whole college was against me. I found no reason to be part of the same gathering and left.

The pace of my walk was the same as the rhythm of my heartbeat. I wanted to run away somewhere far, really far...

I never felt so humiliated in life before & the thought of spending 4 years in the same college sent a cold chill down my spine!!!