Diary: Whispers of the Heart

Diary: Chapter 53***Gave her away

After Pallavi left, I was kind of lost. I did not know what I want, and was not sure if I even wanted anything in life.

My parents sensed that something is terribly wrong with me and tried to bring me back to Delhi and as an escape route, I bagged the first campus selection opportunity that came my way and joined immediately.

I made sure to work at least 14 hours a day to get my body and brain so tired, that I don't get any energy to overthink.

One fine morning, I got up with a terrible headache. I got ready for the office but instead of taking left turn for the office route, I took a last-minute right turn, toward my college campus.

I parked the bike in the parking lot and walked towards the canteen. The canteen owner had changed and asked for my student id, before serving me tea. I came out without buying anything.

It was so strange that the campus which felt like a second home suddenly turned into a sheer building.

"Not only humans, but even the buildings had also shunned me away" - ~ I chucked at my own thought.

I took a cigarette from my pocket and started smoking. And that alerted the watchman who came running to me.

"Avi, it's you? When did you start smoking son?" - Watchman recognized me and was too polite with me. I threw the cigarette away and gave a tight hug to him, surprising him.

"Joydeep ? Milind?" - Watchman asked with gestures, as he was fluent only in Kannada.

"Joy - Kolkatta - Job, work - IT" & Milind - Pune - MBA- higher studies" - I tried to explain.

"Houda (Is it)??? Good Good" - He flashed his smile, patted my back, and went back to his designated spot to guard the area.

I went back to the old parking area and searched for my initials I had engraved at the place I used to park the bike and found it exactly the same.

First I thought of getting in the staffroom and meeting some of my old teachers but later decided against it and came back to the new parking area, to get my bike.

As I walked to the parking and got into my bike, I saw Jerry coming the same way, to get his bike.

He looked at me at the same time and didn't know how to react. We just gave a nod to each other and got onto our bikes.

I had just crossed the campus main gate when Jerry sped up next to me and signaled me to stop. I wondered if wanted to fight again and got anxious.

He signaled to stop near the bakery outside the campus and I followed his instruction unwillingly.

"Wow, they have got chairs and benches here." - I said, looking at the renovation at the same bakery I used to wait for Shruthi for.

"Bala anna, Yerudu Tea - (2 cup Tea)" - Jerry got 2 plastic tea tumblers in his hand and came down to sit next to me.

"What's up, Jerry!" - I tried to start the difficult conversation finally.

"I am sorry, man! I should have apologized earlier. What happened that day was..." - Jerry started to speak.

"It was an accident. Nothing more than that." - Jerry started it and I ended his sentence.

"Still, I feel guilty. It was horrible." - Jerry continued.

"In fact, I am sorry too. I was totally wrong to hurt you first. I had no clue that you guys were together and were playful at that time.

I was distracted by something and misunderstood the whole situation." - I tried to justify myself.

"I know, we kind of kept our relationship a secret, because of the religion difference and all, you know... " - Jerry said

"It's OK, man! I was friends with her and my protective instincts just misunderstood the situation.

It's over. All is good now." - I tried to close the topic.

"The whole college knows, that you were in love with her. I knew that too." - Jerry said

"Yea." - I finally nodded my head slightly and looked down at the table.

"Are you guys still in touch?" - Jerry asked

"No, Why? You don't trust her?" - I asked strongly, looking at him.

"We have not spoken to each other for a month now." - He said that and looked at me, and I didn't say anything back so he continued -

"I want to do MS and have already got admission in a college and visa approved. Infact I came to college for the same, to get college recommendation letter for higher studies. But Shruthi does not want me to go. She feels that if I leave now, her parents will force her to marry someone else here. I mean how can she say that. She has to be strong for us.

Choosing between MS and her is not an easy choice for me." - Jerry was talking his heart out.

"I thought you guys are still in touch, and you could talk sense to her." - Jerry continued.

"Do you really want to marry her?" - I asked looking straight through him.

"of course man! but after landing a decent job." - Jerry said strongly.

"Your parents are in agreement to this relationship?" - I asked again.

"Yes, very much. They know about us for years. But her parents, are afraid that I will force her to change her religion and beliefs." - Jerry replied.

"OK, take your parents to her family. Make them feel secure. Tell them that you accept Shruthi as she is and you have no problem if she joins church with you on Sunday and takes you to a temple on Monday. Tell them, you love her much more than these small differences. Your family should show respect towards them too, to make them feel comfortable. And once that is done, I am sure, Shruthi will be able to convince her family." - I have no clue what I was blabbering, but I said it anyways.

"Makes sense. Her family actually likes me and they know my parents well. I think I can work on this." - Jerry said as if thinking aloud.

"& Make sure, you put an engagement ring on her finger before you leave for 2 years. Seems like girls really honor that." - I added.

"Yes, I think that will work. I will go and meet Shruthi right now" - Jerry said while taking a big sip of the cold tea.

Sitting in that place, talking to Jerry about Shruthi made me uncomfortable. I took a cigarette pack from my pocket and lit it. I offered one to Jerry and he said -

"No thanks, I don't smoke. Shruthi does not like the smell."