You are my soulmate | Han Jisung | ff

18

chapter 18

|Connected – (BangChan) StrayKids|

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[TW: some light smut at the end of the chapter, if you feel uncomfortable with it, skip the end of the chapter.]

"Jiwoo!" I scream excitedly for seeing her, receiving groaning noises from Seungmin, who apparently woke up with me.

"Eunwoo!" Jiwoo replied and we both hugged. It's been so long since we were together outside a hospital that it's even weird to see her with other clothes besides the hospital ones. For so long I thought that I wasn't even going to see her ever again, and that scared me so much that I just busted into tears. I couldn't bear living without her, she's family to me.

"We need to go home." I say and my heart immediately feels Han's heart going sad, and on top of that Jiwoo's face – which was light up – became a frown. "What's wrong? You don't want to?" I asked her with genuine concern. All this time I wanted the best for us, not just for me, I thought I was doing the right thing, but I never thought that maybe Jiwoo wouldn't want what I thought was the best for us. Does she want to live here? Did I make a mistake?

"I don't want to leave now, at least not today. Tomorrow we can go. But it's so late already and we haven't had dinner yet either. Can't we stay for tonight and then tomorrow we leave?" Was it just for tonight? I need to talk to her alone to understand her opinion. If Jiwoo doesn't want to leave outside of the boys' dorms, I don't know what I'll be doing. First, the boys don't have space for us, second, they never said that they wanted Jiwoo and me to live here. One person was a mess enough, doable, but a mess still, let alone suddenly having 2 people living here. Third I wouldn't feel good living here, this is not my space. I don't have a room for myself, I don't have all the privacy that I enjoy having. I love being with StrayKids, and I love having late-night conversations and dinners with them, but I also love my space, and I worked so hard to get what I have today. So, if Jiwoo tells me she wants to stay here I'll be lost in what to do.

And I guess my heart must've shown my true emotion to Jisung because even though my face showed a smile as if I was completely put together, my heart was a complete chaos of emotions. "Eunwoo come here." Jisung called me to Minho's room to speak, and I followed him. I entered the familiar room and closed the door once inside.

"I can feel your emotions, talk to me, what's going on, in that beautiful mind of yours?" He spoke first.

"I- I'm just scared that I did the wrong decision. Maybe Jiwoo didn't want to move and I decided that the best option for the both of us, was for us to move. And I know that you wish I was still living here, but I truly can't live in a place where I don't have my space in it. I would be entering your space, and as much as I know you don't mind. I mind it. I'm not ready to give the step of living with you and 3 more guys. And I thought that with Jiwoo's recovery, she needed her own space. And then if she wants to be here like that's just imposing yourself on another person's home. You never said you wanted her and me here - at the same time, living permanently. Sungie, did I-" By this time I was tearing up as a result of the overload of emotions mixed with anxiety. "Did I make the wrong decision?"

Jisung holds me in his arms, caressing my back gently and whispering into my ears. "You could never make the wrong decision if it's one your heart tells you it's the correct one. I'm sure Jiwoo just wants to stay for the night. She's been away from the outside world for so long, I'm sure she just wants to be social again, ok?" I nod and clean my face from the tears, trying to look put together again. I don't want Jiwoo to think she was the reason for my crying; she doesn't deserve to feel that on her first day out of the hospital.