You are my soulmate | Han Jisung | ff

14

chapter 14

|Sunshine – Stray Kids|

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I'm back home. I'm back in Seoul. Even if my whole life is upside down right now, I feel at peace to be back. My heart can already feel Han in the city, but I don't care. I don't feel it as heavy as I felt when I was in Tokyo, so that's a win. I think that our talk yesterday made my heart hurt less. When he called it was as if he could tell that I needed him to save me. And he came just in time to wake me up from my sick dream and make me get out off that bathtub.

He doesn't know that I was about to let myself sink, and for now, no one will know. Right now, I'm just waiting for Seungmin to come to get me from the airport, but I can feel that he doesn't come alone. Han's coming too. I'm not mad about it, for once in one year, I'm not mad. I'm tired of being mad, and sad. I'm a wreck right now and I just want to go to the Central Seoul Hospital and see Jiwoo. Han knows about her, I commented about it with him yesterday, and he told me he wanted to be there for me and help me, I'm still doubtful about it, but I don't have the energy to deny help, if he wants to help me, I won't tell him off.

After 20 minutes of waiting a black SUV stops in front of me and both Seungmin and Han get out of the car. And I don't even have time to say anything before I'm attacked with a hug from Han. He then backs off a bit, to look at my face and speaks. "Hi." He says in a breathy voice, and I answer back. I hug Seungmin too and then we walk into the car and head off to their dorm.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this." I say in a whisper, but Han gets it. "Do you want to go straight to the hospital?" He asks and I nod. And in a blink of an eye, we change direction and head to the hospital where Jiwoo is. When we walk to the room where she is being taken care of, I grab Han's hand for support, take a deep breath and walk in, still holding hands with Han. And when I see my best friend laying in the hospital bed, surrounded by wires and machines and noises I lose all, the oxygen that I had in my lungs and my knees feel weak, making my body instinctively lean on Han. He immediately puts his arm around my waist and supports me to not fall. "Take it easy." He states and I nod in understanding. I take another deep breath and close my eyes for a minute to calm my racing heart and mind.

Then when I'm calmer, I seat down on the chair near the bed and held Jiwoo's hands in between mine. "Hi, I'm back. I came back for you. I missed you so much and now that I'm able to see you in flesh I regret not coming back earlier." I state and tears start threatening my eyes, I take another deep breath. "I have been so down, and you were always there to help me, and now that you aren't well, I don't know what to do. I know I have to be the strong one for you now. I need to be the saviour like you always are the saviour in my life. I need you here, and if right now you need me more, I'll be here for you. Just please... please don't leave me. I can't live without you." I started sobbing and in between sobs I spoke to her. I confined to her, forgetting that Han was even in the room, listening too. "Even one hour after I got the news... only one hour without you and I tried to take my own life... I... I can't take this. I need you, Jiwoo. I need you to live. Please let me be selfish and live for me." I finished saying and started crying, while Han was hugging me from the back, I could feel that he was shocked about my confession that I tried to kill myself yesterday. I forgot that he was there, that he would listen, that he would know. But now he does. And I can feel his concern. And I didn't know what to tell him. I couldn't promise that I wouldn't try it again, especially now that Jiwoo was in a bad condition, in a hospital bed.

We spent 2 hours of the visiting time and then we left. When we got back to the car it was just me and Han, Seungmin had left to the company to have voice training. "I have been thinking, and this might come out as to sudden but... Eunwoo I don't feel comfortable with you living alone during this time. Please come live with us to the dorm. We changed dorms and you can live in my dorm with 3Racha and Hyunjin. I have a spare mattress and bed where you can sleep. But please don't push me off at this time. I don't trust you to be left all alone, I wouldn't sleep right if I let you be all alone."