The grouchy man! (gay bdsm bl story +21)

Part 17

I was in the bathroom, with jimmy looking wasted, numbed, and not understanding the situation. I started sobering up when I saw mona's body on the floor covered in blood, the fear started sneaking onto me, I didn't understand any of it, how did it happen? what have I done? I fucked up, I have committed a crime, and I murdered someone in cold blood, how could I have done this? how did this happen? things started hitting rock bottom quickly after that.

Someone was knocking on the door, I don't know know what to do, I'm at my lowest, I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to collapse, but it wasn't the time for that, I had to gather myself quickly.

I went to jimmy:" Jimmy, jimmy, I need you right now, please pull yourself together"

jimmy wasn't in this world, everything was blurry to him, and his head was running 360 degrees, how do I fucking fix this?

I screamed: "It's busy, go away"

a male voice answered back:" I need to go now"

I replied:" Then go to the fucking forest"

Luckily for me, they went away. But the situation didn't, Mona's body and blood were still there, I was panicking, I was scared as I never was before. In an attempt of me to fix the whole situation, I made an even bigger mess, I started touching her body, I got my hands covered in blood, and my fingerprints everywhere, what do I do, do I start chopping off her limbs and flushing it? this was the only idea I had but clearly, it's the worst idea ever. I need to act quickly but what the fuck. Jimmy passed out there, Do I handle him or her? There was a mop there, I started mopping the blood, but it was everywhere. Clearly, nothing was working.

I pulled out jimmy's phone, went through his contacts, and then called his chauffeur, my head is going to explode, I told him the whole situation and where we are. He came after 10 minutes of me calling with a bunch of guys, he took me and jimmy and left the other guys to handle the situation. on the way out I told him that we had to find the rest of the family, he said, we have to go now, he'll handle the rest, he drove us home and got back there.

I was home me and jimmy, jimmy just fell asleep, but I wanted to cry and I couldn't, I have fucked up everything, I couldn't sleep, he was laying there next to me, I saw him and I thought to myself can love drive us this crazy, was it worth it? I lost myself trying to be someone he loved, lost myself within my insecurities, I don't know what to do anymore, I want to kill myself, but I can't.

I stayed like that the whole night until jimmy woke up the next morning, he opened his eyes and looked at me.

I burst into tears, he hugged me and said:" what happened, I have fucked up again, haven't I?"

" I'm the one who fucked up, I killed her"
he looked at me longly:" do you love me that much?"
" more than you can imagine, more than I ever thought I would"
"I'm sorry baby, it's just you and me in this world"
"Jimmy, will you forgive me?"
" I love you, and I'm here with you no matter what happens"
"I want to kill myself jimmy, I feel bad"
" shush, it's fine,I  love you, I fucking love you"

His phone started ringing, it was his chauffeur, he told him the situation was taken care of.

He looked at me with his gloomy eyes, I could see exactly how he felt, he was disappointed in himself.

"I let myself go, didn't I?" He said looking at me with regret in his eyes

" This will never happen again, I'll never put you through that again, I should've been awake, I should've been aware" He continued saying

This made me feel worse, for the first time, he was in a hard situation, I let him down, why couldn't I take care of him like he always does for me, why am I such a failure?

I burst into tears and said to him hugging him" I'm sorry jimmy, this was all my fault"

He hugged me back:" Do you wanna go somewhere, just you and me, and forget about everything?"

I don't know what I want anymore, the world was turning in my head, I killed someone, I killed a human being. I don't know how to forgive myself. All I know is that I want this feeling to go away.

I stayed silent for a minute, he pulled me and I just went like a dead body, I was shocked. He took me to the shower, took off my clothes, and opened the water.

the water was pouring in my face as I just stood there not giving any reaction, I want to cry but the tears are not coming out, I want to let out this dead feeling inside of me out but I don't know how.

He whispered to my eyes:" don't resist it, let the water wash away everything now, let everything go, let's start anew, we deserve it"

I looked at him and said" Can you fuck away my pain?'

He looked at me surprised but we were both twisted enough to do it. I love how he understands everything, how he embraces my dark, weird, twisted side. Maybe because we both have it.

He brought a towel and he covered me with it, He held me and put me on the bed. I just lied there. He closed all the curtains, turned on the red lights, and started kissing my body.

He put my hands up, with one hand he held them, and with the other hand, he was touching my face, my neck.
He said:" whatever you do, whatever or whoever you become, you'll always be mine and I'll always be here with you holding your hands, Timmy"
he went down with his hand touching my chest, my tummy then he flipped me, then he put it in slowly at first saying:" Can you give me all the pain and take all my happiness?" and then he goes roughly in. my eyeball went up, I started moaning loudly than crying, sobbing as loud as I could while he went in and out.

He then turned me and started kissing me, licking my tears, we were like that for hours, it felt like moments to me. then we both lied on the bed catching our breath.

" What happened happened Timmy, I don't want anything to steal our happiness anymore," He said

That day passed with us just laying on the bed barely eating or drinking, just having sex, it was our way to let the tension out, to connect. It was more than sex, it was healing, it was dealing with the situation and just accepting and forgiving ourselves.

Jimmy's father went to his home, and only john and my dad were at our home. They didn't know what happened, We found out later they left the bar early and continued their night at home. I don't know what was going on between them, they suddenly became best friends, and they moved out of the house and rented a place together. It was all sketchy, I felt something there and when I asked my dad he answered that he would tell me when the time came, but there was no need for us to talk, I decided to accept him just like he did, no questions asked. Our lives changed drastically after meeting Jimmy, he just changed everything I believed, everything I was, For the first time I understood love, true love, It exists, it's like having superpowers, It's something I've never experienced before, something that could heal and break you in a second.

Days went by and we continued our lives, we completely forgot about Mona like she never existed before, we were having our normal day-to-day life, with Jimmy going to work and me just staying home, I decided that's what I wanted to do, I was happy like never before. Our relationship was weird, we had no labels, we didn't call ourselves this and that, and we were just doing whatever made us happy, whatever we wanted. My happiest moment of the day was when Jimmy came back from work, I would wait for him at the door, he had an exact hour to arrive, I greet him with a kiss, help him take his shoes off, and give him the slippers, I always say the same words every day:" Welcome home" he can sense the excitement in my voice, my love for him never went down, it only increased over time.

It was Friday night, and jimmy came back from work, I kissed him and he kissed me back dragging me to the bedroom, he took his clothes off and whispered to my eyes" take a shower with me, baby boy". we went to the shower, It was a long one, It was more than just a shower. When we got off the shower, he gave me clothes to wear from a bag, he handed me the bag and said:" wear this".

I asked him:" You bought this for me?'
"I'll buy you the world if you want to" He answered
it was a cool T-ee shirt and sexy shorts, I got dressed and followed him downstairs
I was shocked, how did this happen? the living room was all flower, there was a nicely cooked dinner and a cake.

I asked him:" How? you were with me the whole time?"
" don't ask questions," He said pulling the chair for me:" Sit down"

He must've had someone do this while we were in the shower, my heart fluttered, every time I see him is like the first time, I don't understand how the excitement never went down, it only went up every single time.

We had our dinner, and then he brought the cake, it said Happy 1 year anniversary, I felt so embarrassed, how could I forget? and how could he remember while he's always busy?

" Oh, jimmy, I'm sorry I didn't know, I'm so stupid"

" Let's make a wish," he said

We closed our eyes and we made our wish then we blow out the candle, and then he pulled something out of his pocket: " give me your little hands"

" My hands aren't little," I said with a shy face

" Okay then, give me your giant hands," he said smiling.

He put a ring on my fingers, and then he gave me the same ring to put on his.

" Never take this off, it's a promise ring, you're mine forever," he said

I was so happy, I went to him and kissed him intensely.

" Jimmy, I don't know why I feel this way, I don't know why I have this much love for you, how to describe it, every time I'm with you I want more of you," I said to him while sitting on his laps.

He smiled at me:" Because you're my baby and a baby always needs his daddy"

I was just blushing the whole time, then he said to me:" Do you know, my dad is getting married."

" Really, when is the wedding? I love weddings" I answered

" I wasn't going, but I'll take you"

" Yes, let's go"

" I'll go holding your hands, I'll show everyone that you're mine."

I blushed and said his name shyly:" jimmy, are you serious?"

He pulled me up and said:" Let's go upstairs, I'll show you how serious I am"

" Jimmy, you never get tired of me?"

" Why don't you call me daddy?"

He put me on the bed and lied on top of me just looking at my face and touching it.

I started feeling really turned on, I just needed him to do something, I wanted him to eat my soul again.

" You make me go mad, you know that?" jimmy said

I started breathing heavily

He put his hands on my mouth" shush, relax"

He came closer to my mouth as I leaned towards him to kiss him, and then he just pulled away.

I started breathing more heavily

" shush, you're such a naughty boy"

" You know what I wished, I wished that we be together forever, I wished that our death will be together, catching our last breath in each other's arms, preferably while I'm inside you"

I couldn't say anything, I was too turned on to say a word, the more he speaks, the more he turns me on.

" Your breathing is gonna drive me crazy," he said coming closer to me grabbing a cube of ice, and then putting it inside my shorts, it was so cold. He then came closer to my mouth and pulled away.

I pushed him onto the bed and got on top of him:" Are you teasing me right now, You're making me lose my mind" I said barely catching my breath
                                                                                                         To be continued.......