You Changed My Story

Harper

"Ugh! Remy! 5 more minutes!! My alarm didn't even go off yet!!"

My lab jumps on me again and starts to kick my face.

"Ok, ok! I'm up. I know where you mouth goes and I'm not trying to get that all over me!"

I slide into my knock off UGG slippers my mom got me for Christmas. I can hardly get the door open before he shoots out to find our other dog. Walking into the kitchen, I see my mom making her coffee. Fully dressed and ready to the day. It's 6:30am.

"Good morning sweetie! Good to see you up so early! Care to join me on my hot mom walk?"

"I love that you are trying to be hip and all but it's a 'hot girl walk'. But I love your hair today. I wonder who did it."

Knowing damn well she made me late for fed last night just to curl her hair. She huffs, says she loves me dispone my attitude and goes on her walk.

I make myself a coffee before I dump an insane amount of creamer in it and take a sip. Bringing life into my body. Or at least I hope it will. I throw some kibble in the dogs bowls before I head into the disturbingly small bathroom my brother and I share. I wash my face and brush my teeth before going into my room to pick out some clothes for the day. It's summer time and it physically hurts that I can't wear my usual sweats and a sweatshirt to hide my body. I throw on some biker shorts and a graphic t with a button up on top. I know very Utah mom of me. But hey! I can't wear anything fancy or too tight - not that I'd want to- because I'm a nanny. Kids and fancy clothes don't mix well. I head back to the bathroom to put on my deodorant and some perfume before applying some mascara and sunscreen. I look at myself in the mirror for the one of a couple of times I allow myself for the day. Taking my hands and tugging the biker shorts down as far as they would go. I huff and start to walk out the door. I shout that I love everyone and I'll be back later today. I slide on my vans and head out the door. Getting into my Ford focus that is constantly low on gas and racing out of the neighborhood to work.

I've always struggled with the way my body looked. I only started to get bigger when I was in high school because of stress. I turned to food and it's still a struggle today. I sit around 225-230 and it's not something I'm proud of. My goal every new year is to get skinnier. Does it happen? No. But I do it every year. Instead of a new years kiss. I made a New Year's resolution that is bound to fail every year. Depressing, I know. I struggle with anxiety too so friends have never been a constant in my life. Just me in my head 24/7. Thankfully I have a tight knit family that I can rely on.

I park in the driveway at work and walk into the 3 car garage that the family leaves open for me. This house is huge. I've been working for this family for a whole year and I still get lost. I turn into the kitchen to see Mrs. Johnson trying her best to make breakfast for the angry twins in high chairs screaming while she's feeding her youngest.

"Oh Harper! Thank god you are here!! Could you take over breakfast and I'll take little mister in his room to finish eating?"

" Absolutely!"

She almost runs out of the kitchen and I am left with the kids.

" Hey girls! I see we have eggs on the stove and toast in the toaster?"

"Eggies!! Foast!!!"

"Coming right up girls!"

I plate their breakfast and hand it to them before going to clean up. As I'm washing the dishes, their mom comes in wiping her forehead.

"He's down for his first nap of the day. Thank you for taking over. This whole 3 kids thing is a lot."

" No problem at all! It's my job!"

" yes, well, I appreciate it! Anyways I'm headed to pilates and then I'm meeting someone for lunch. I most likely won't be home until 2-ish. Is that okay?"

"That works for me!"

"Great! Well good luck and bye girls I'll see you later!!"

These damn rich suburban moms and their Pilates classes. She has a whole damn gym right in her home. I don't understand why she needs to go out to do it. Then again with a body like hers, I'd want to show it off too. I bet she'll get a green juice and complain about her life to all of her friends.

"Umm Hawper? I fink Amy had a accident.."

And duty calls.....