Home for Winter

chapter 15

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chapter 15

Snow Angels

Olivia

My mother isn't dead.

What died doesn't always stay dead, a song says. Because in every moment that I miss her, that I remember her, I can still feel her. With me. Very much alive.

And I can see her, I can feel her, to this people that she sent for me.

"Ayan, oh, dahan-dahan mo siyang iupo, pogi. Ayan, ayan. Heto ang lugaw, mainit-init pa 'yan. Kainin mo na, sige, sige," sabi ni Nanay Priscilla habang sinusubo sa akin ang mainit na lugaw na niluto nila. Sa likod niya ay ang mga amiga na may kaniya kaniya ring dala.

Sinubo ko at tiningnan sila isa-isa nang maayos at sa mata. It feels awkward and uncomfortable at first, but I remind myself that this people— who are worried of me, cook for me— are not the same people that I feared during my revenge. That they might see right through my soul, my plans, and my life, but it's okay. Tapos na ang mga araw na takot akong mabasa ng mga tao.

With them, I know I can be at ease. Sa pangalawang subo, napatingin ako kay Everett. He must have been shock to see me staring at him, but he smiles, one that slightly reaches his eye, assuring.

I would like to believe that angels exist. I would like to believe that mama— although gone— sent these angels for me to remind me that despite the unfairness, cruelty and injustice that I've witnessed in this world, there are still people like her— kind, genuinely cares for me, someone who'll watch over and guide me— who exist.

I can breathe now.

In this small village where the snow always embraces the earth; I can be at ease for I am not alone anymore.

"Ineng, bakit ka nakayuko? Ayaw mo na ba?"

"Heto na lang sampelot ang ipakain mo, Priscilla kung ayaw niya na, o kaya itong pandesal na nabili ko."

"Masarap po." Pinalis ko ang luha at inangat ang ulo. "Kakainin po natin 'yang mga dala niyo." I smile, the first time, I think, that it feels good. "At, um... thank you po sa inyo."

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Naabutan ko silang nakapalibot kay Everett at sa dalawang bata paglabas ko ng kusina. Ginawan ko sila ng specialty ko, pinipigilan nga nila ako, but I told them I'm feeling better now. It's true though, I feel much better after earlier.

"Pito? Pitong libro na ang sinulat mo? Ang galing, sobrang talino mo siguro!"

"Oi, 'di mo ba naririnig magkwento kanina? Ang talas mag-Ingles!"

"Paano ka nakakapagsulat? Naku, ang dami mo sigurong notebook sa bahay!"

Everett scratches his brow, obviously overwhelm with their questions.

"Laptop po ang ginagamit ko para sa mga manuscript ko," sagot niya at tinuro ang katabing laptop. "So, it's this."

"Ah, akala ko naman sulat kamay o kaya 'yong ano, ano bang tawag do'n? 'Yong pindot-pindot?" tanong ni Lola Marta.

"Typewriter po."

"Oo, iyon!"

"Mga Lola, heto na po ang kape at meryenda," tawag ko sa kanila.

Agad silang nagsilapit sa akin. They sat on the long table where I put down their drinks. Lumapit din si Everett at inabot ang milk shake para sa dalawang bata.

"Kape, kape, kape kayo diyan! Kanina ko pa hinihintay matikman ulit 'to," sabi ni Lolo Tony.

"Ang sarap nga naman talaga ng kape mo, ano," sabi ni Lola Marta.

"Turuan mo rin kaming gumawa ng masarap na kape sa susunod, ineng! Ikukuha kita ng maraming customer. Sabi ng apo ko dito raw sila nagmeryenda ng mga kaibigan niya nong makalawa."

Kumpara noon, may mga customer ng pumupunta ng café. "Ah opo, kinukwento niya nga po kayo raw po ang nagturo sa kaniya."

"Your cappuccino latte art is cute," Everett whispers on my ear, his back facing the elders. No'ng silipin ko, hindi niya pa iniinom kaya hindi natanggal ang smiley face.

"Inumin mo na, baka lumamig."

"Pipicturan ko muna. Actually, this makes me think of creating a character who does coffee art, what do you think?"

"Sounds good, Mr. Author."

His lips raise.

"Oh Coffee, ano nga ulit 'to?" tanong ni Nanay Marta pagkabasa sa brand logo na nasa cup.

"Ah, 'yan po ang pangalan nitong café."

"Bakit ito?"

Being the only one left standing, I sit while Everett settles on the last chair at the back of the table with the kids. "No'n po kasing bata ako, palaging gumagawa si Mama ng 'yan nga po, kape, I mean. Pagkagising, bago maligo, papagalitan niya po ako kapag hindi nagkape muna. Tapos, uh, sa meryenda nga rin po. No'ng bata raw po ako kapag, um, pagkainom ko sasabihin ko, oh, coffee!" I smile, remembering the memory of when she told me that. "Kaya simula no'n tuwing gumagawa si Mama sasabihin niya po oh, coffee! para tawagin ako."

"Oh, coffee!" Gelo mimics. Nika follows along, then Everett while he softly chuckles.

I think this is the first that I hear him laugh comfortably. His laugh is something that I'd like to listen to have a peaceful sleep under warm blankets and soft pillows.

"Ay sus, ako kapag tinatawag kong magkape, sisigawan mo na't lahat nakatutok pa rin sa mga selpon nila!"

"Eh ako nga hindi na ginagawan ng kape ng my darling ko," Lolo Tony teases his wife.

"Pa'nong hindi Tonio, eh bawat ginagawan kita no'n hindi mo naman iniinom ano!" Their banter continues and laughter follows until the sun comes down.

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